Momuv3

Another Tragedy Fixed

2008-02-07T18:35:00.000-07:00

So, Steff lost my cell phone...You see, it's the only phone in the house that works for the moment and Kieran needed to use it. So, he got it out of my pocket while I was asleep and then he set it down next to me. Well, he found it in Sadie's possession over by the dog's pen and he brought it back and put it in my pocket. Apparently Steff saw him put it there and she took the liberty of taking it out and hiding it. All while I was asleep...We searched this house over and I even looked in her cubby spot where she sticks everything and no luck.
I had the great idea, after much praying and asking God for wisdom to have Kieran go to the neighbors house and call it until I answered. Well, he did and I went to Steff's room where I had a gut feeling it was and lo and behold there it was...in her cubby spot. I had missed it when I reached under there looking for it.

Just Things About Today

2008-01-29T10:31:00.000-07:00

It's been an interesting and busy morning for me. I woke up at 7am only to call my mom and wake her up. She was suppost to call me at 7 and wake me up but she slept through the call time. So, I did the calling. Kieran was getting ready for school and Steff was watching tv. Sadie was patiently waiting to be taken out of her crib. So, I had the girls up and watching television and Kieran going off to school. Not a bad moment.
Then at 8:30 Rex had an appointment at the groomers so I had to wake Ryan up to come and watch the girls while I ran him down to Petco. When I got there the guy told me he'd only take a half an hour but Ryan needed to go back to bed. He went back to bed when I got home and Steff shortly followed with the whole going to sleep thing. Which was good because when I went to get Rex I didn't get Ryan back up, I just went in and told him that Steff was asleep and Sadie was watching tv. He stayed in bed with the door open so he could hear any crying and get up to see what was going on.
When I finally got home from picking up Rex, Sadie was still in the exact same spot as when I left. She was standing on the cushion less couch and jumping. I know what you're thinking...I left her on the couch!!! But you have to understand that the couch had no cushions and therefore she can climb up and down with ease and not fall. She loves to stand on the couch and she knows how to get down when it does have the cushions on it. It's pretty cute to see her turn around and lower her little feet down to the ground.
I'm feeling pretty good, very little pain. I slept wrong the other day while I was holding Rex and it hurt the middle of my back so that's the only place that's really uncomfortable. I have been doing really well lately but I believe it's because I've had Ultram's. Little miracle pills is what Ryan and I call them. They work so well and you don't get that narcotic feeling. It's wonderful...

Read Family Blog

2008-01-28T09:44:00.000-07:00

I have published a new segment of our family on www.krazyfamily.blogspot.com

2008-01-16T10:26:00.000-07:00

Today has been a decent day. I have been feeling all right considering I don't have any pain meds of any sort. I'm so sick of having back problems but I have been using my faith as a crutch. I think it's working because the pain isn't as bad as it could be. Of course, I've been sitting on a heating pad since I got out of bed too. That has been helping.
The girls are being pretty good. Steff has been imaginatively playing with various toys and Sadie is roaming around the house picking everything off the floor and eating it.
Today Ryan and I have an appointment with a financial group that claims their goal is to educate and not necessarily sell anything but, we'll see. We can't afford to buy life insurance at least not the coverage that we know we need. I know and we know we need it especially after Sean died and we saw what it was like to loose someone so abruptly.
I go see doctor Meyer today to get a cavity filled. I hate getting them filled. It's not so much that I hate the filling part, it's the feeling numb for a long period of time.
Sadie is in by the puppy ripping up his paper and of course she's eating it. As mean as it is we call her the garbage disposal because she eats everything. I do mean everything. It's sort of funny but somewhat annoying.
Kieran was excited that he started his new meds today. I advised him that these one's would not make him sick so it'll be interesting to see how he does today. He's a mind over matter kind of kid. If he thinks something bad will happen then he pretty much makes it happen. I wish I could help him have a more positive outlook on life. His Gram brought something up on the phone last night that I hadn't really thought about. She mentioned that the next time he sees Kluthe I should ask what to do when he makes up his mind in a negative way. Like seeing some snowboarders wrecked and then he was afraid to go down the mountain and he did end up hurting himself. Not bad, just a bruise on his knee but he made it seem a lot bigger than the bruise said it was. He just worries so much and it's so frustrating that he's this kid with the mind and actions of an adult.
Oh...I'd like to lay down and take a nap. Don't get me wrong I actually got a decent night of sleep but how nice it would be to lay these bones down and knot off. I think I'll study my Bible instead but I don't know ....

The Mad House

2008-01-15T19:39:00.000-07:00

I had my first therapy session today and it went very well. I learned that the reason I spend money is to control something when I'm feeling out of control. I just need to find things to calm myself down and bring myself back into a safe level of control. I can't be too in control or I'll hit a manic phase of my disorder but I can't be too low or I'll be in a depressed state of that same disorder. Also known as Bipolar. . .another ungly word that is part of my life. I do okay but I want to change certain parts of myself. I'm proud of myself for taking the initiative and getting the help that both I need and my budget needs.
The kids are being hyper tonight. The puppy does that to them. Of course, they in turn make him hyper too. Oh, how I long for bedtime. I know it won't be for a few hours yet since Steff took a nap but I can hope and pray and learn to deal with the way things are. I wonder though, where is Steff going to decide she wants to sleep? It's getting to be very out of control...
Oh, the stomping that is going on because the kids are trying to get the dog to bark. It's amazing that my floor doesn't just collapse. . .
The potty training is going well with the dog. He has these pads that are designed for him to potty on and he does a good job at using them. I'm quite the proud little parent. It's not going to be easy to get him used to going outside but come spring he's gonna be learning a new set of tricks.

Up For The Day

2008-01-15T06:49:00.000-07:00

It's almost 7 and I've been up for an hour after a long night and lots of wake ups. I'm feeling exhausted. Today is also grocery day so it's going to be a long day. The only good thing is that I will get my Ultram filled today. They are non-narcotic pain killers and they're little miracle pills. They get rid of the pain without the side affects of narcotic type pain killers. You know, tired, dizzy the whole gambit. They are nice, I'd recommend them for anyone who has chronic pain. Cuz folks, let's face it, I have chronic pain...Nothing sounds like such a death sentence as hearing yourself say you suffer from "chronic pain," Yuck.
Steff is up and being very difficult this morning. I've had to cover her up with her blanket a half a dozen times. I think it's about time she learned how to do that herself...what do you think? I know you agree with me. She's such a spoiled little child, all my kids are. Don't get me wrong we are fairly strict parents and we restrict what they are allowed to do and it will get worse as they get older and the temptations get greater but, they are spoiled. We do a lot of things for them. A lot of things they should be doing for themselves.
Kieran probably didn't get a very good night of sleep...he slept by the dog and each time I woke up he was whining to get out. So, the poor kid's gonna wanna sleep in his own bed tonight.
Right now Rex is in a playful mood. He's tearing up the newspaper in his pen and playing with his toys. I like it when he's like this but I like the little lap puppy much better. Okay, now he's barking...Not sure what at, but he is. Little stinker. Good thing Kieran gets up in fifteen minutes. Then I can check to see if he pottied on his paper and if he has he can come out and roam around and play in the living room but for now, I think I'd be rotten if I went and flipped on the light to see, with Kieran in there asleep and all.
Ryan said he had a long night at work and that he just felt stiff all night. I told him that I completely understood and that I sympathized with him. I do feel bad when he says he feels that way. I wish I could make him feel nice and good but I can't and it makes it hard. When you love someone this much it hurts you when they hurt. But, there is nothing I can do for him and I share my pain meds with him when he needs them but when they are gone, they are gone...And, let's face it folks, the Ultram doesn't last forever. I wish it did but it doesn't.
I'm feeling quite beat up this morning but I'm sure it's because it was a rough night. I already blogged about some of the events when I was up at 3:45am because Ryan thought it was social hour at that beautiful time. Butt head...I love seeing him when he comes home but some nights it's very hard to fall back to sleep. I have to take one Ambien before bed and then another in the middle of the night. They usually don't last much longer than a couple of hours so if I get a couple hours of sleep I feel good but last night when I took the second one I didn't get that couple of hours of sleep that they require to wear off so here I sit, feeling exhausted...but that's only the half of it. You see, if I don't get a good night of sleep my body feels it. I need that re coupe session for the sake of my back....Or else, it's a pain day.
I read something the other day about pain ravaged bodies and how to look forward to the Everafter...I really do look forward to the days and nights and eternity when my body doesn't feel the car accident and the babies I carried anymore. Those will be the good times....
I did get another injection into my other hip the other day and thus, I have no pain in my hips, it's just my back. After that car accident I was in I haven't been the same since. I get very tense muscles that muscle relaxers don't touch and that massage therapy appointments are too expensive to get. I know it should be the responsibility of the other driver's insurance but I'm not sure how to get appointments where they pay for it. The last time I went to a massage therapist and the Chiropractor was right before Sean died but since I have just been in to see Dr. E. and get back adjustments from him. My insurance covers most of the cost when I have him do it but they wouldn't if I went and saw a Chiropractor. Sounds like garbage to me but that's just the way it works.
Steff is laughing and playing with Rex now. I didn't get him out but he's barking and jumping at her and she is laughing and loving it. It's actually quite cute. She just told me, "funny." Boy, is he barking up a storm and all the while she is laughing like mad. It's great, I wish it wasn't this early but it's cute none-the-less.

Up at Three

2008-01-15T03:47:00.000-07:00

Ryan came home and decided he'd missed me so he woke me up and thus, here I sit, wide awake and confused about the events of this night. You see, Kieran slept in the dining room next to the puppy, who, at this point is being quiet after a mid-night whine session. Steff is sleeping on the couch and not to soundly I might add. She has woke up several times tonight and each time she wants a different show on tv. Sadie just fell back to sleep after a bought of sleeplessness and Ryan should be off to lala land anytime. I am sitting her blogging. It's now ten to four and I can't sleep. I really don't have much to blog about since I do most of my blogging on the family blog but none-the-less, here I sit.
I have been walking with the Lord more since I went to church. I came to the harsh realization that I hadn't been giving Him my all. That I was exhisting for my own personal gain. I feel terrible but I also know that because of His love for me I'm forgiven and I don't intend to repeat the offense. Glory to God in the highest is what I want to say. He gives all things and takes all things. I am so happy that I have Him in my corner. If God is for me, who can be against me? A rhetorical question really, I mean, think about it. . .when you have the Most High on your side things can't be any better. There is no famine, worry, self-indulgence, you are purified in Him. There isn't much else I can say about the love I know God has for me but I do have to admit that I like it when he gives me gentle reminders about who He wants me to be rather than the harsh ones that teach the truth through trials. Don't get me wrong all the lessons He teaches me are well learned, maybe still repeated, as I am human and that just makes us stupid by default but all lessons are well learned. Sometimes the harsh one's are the ones that stick the most. I just try to remember he does everything in love. He wants us to grow and He'd be much more pleased if we'd take the hint as apposed to the book being thrown at us but it's His job to teach us what He needs from us, what jobs He has for us to do. I think I'm going to go off and study my Bible for a few. I feel at my best right now. No pain and no kids...that truly is what He deserves, my best.

Read Family Blog

2008-01-13T13:35:00.001-07:00

Please read our family blog at www.krazyfamily.blogspot.com ...

The Day Is Winding Down

2008-01-10T21:31:00.000-07:00

This day is winding down. Kieran and Sadie have gone off to bed so all that are left are me and Steffanie. Steff is watching shows on the television and eating snacks and I'm hoping she gets tired soon. I doubt it but maybe.
Today has been a good day. It wasn't the most productive day but things did get done. I took the kids to the dollar store and spent a lot more money than I should have but that's a bridge I'll cross once Ryan becomes cross with me about it. I hate it when he feels that way and I'm planning on getting therapy so that part of my life will be my next challenge to correct. I need to grow up a lot in some ways and in others I need to get in touch with my inner child. It's a never ending cycle. I just want to learn the life skills on how to be a more responsible adult. Plus, it would make Ryan very happy.
The kids did good today, nothing big to report. Dr.E changed Kieran's meds again and upped the dose on one of them but I think this will work better.

A Normal Morning

2008-01-08T08:43:00.000-07:00

So far it's been a normal morning but this afternoon will be a lot different. You see, we get our Rexy today. Matt told Ryan last night that we could come and get him. So, today we are going shopping for our puppy and then we will go the Reeder's house and pick up our new bundle of joy.
Then the fun of potty training begins. I'm not looking forward to it but I know it has to be done right or we'll always have problems with him pottying in the house. I just hope he learns to respect us as his owners right off the bat. I read that that's very important for Chi's. They need to know who the boss is or they will rule the roost. And, that, will cause serious problems with behavior.
I am so excited to have a new baby in the house and Kieran was way excited this morning when I told him that we'd have Rexy when he got home from school. He started jumping up and down and squealing with excitement. I told him to have a great day and be good. I was worried that all the excitement of having something to look forward to would make him over-anxious and thus, cause his to be a problem child today. I hope not, but you always got to be on top of this stuff as a parent.
My uncle will be going home today. Which is not any big deal. It's been nice having him around but it will be nice to run around without a bra on for a change.
I was just thinking. . .I wonder if everyone who reads this blog takes a minute to check out our family blog? If you read this and do or don't check out the family blog let me know. Just send me an email....

Having Another Normal Day

2008-01-07T19:27:00.000-07:00

I'm having a normal day today. It's been the usual things and all that. I did go to my dentist appointment today and I found out that I may have gum disease but that depends on if I'm brushing too hard. He didn't do anything for this jaw clenching thing I've been doing for two weeks now. I have an appointment with Dr. E on Thursday and I will be addressing it.
Ryan tried to make a deal with me. He said if I don't spend any money this week then next week we will go buy stuff for the puppy. I have made up my mind that I wouldn't spend money anyway so it's a double win situation for me. I have a happy husband and I get stuff for my Rexy.
The kids have been their usual selves today. I have changed more poopy diapers than I can count and I'm darn sick of it.
My uncle is still in town and it's still pleasant. Usually, I am sick of someone after as long as he's been around but he doesn't bother me in the least. He even brought my brother in to town which was a nice and wonderful surprise.
He's been talking about moving down here and him and my mom sharing an apartment. My mom said she was thinking of moving to Oregon but I just can't see my mom leaving her grand kids and her children for that matter. We'll just have to wait and see what happens. It would be nice if my mom had someone in her family close to her.
My uncle just farted and then acted like he didn't do anything but he made some comment about "whew'' and then he waved his hand as if to fan it away...I have to sit here in this funk and all I can do is type about it and hope that those of you reading my blog are laughing your butts off knowing that I'm sitting her in this funk...I know I would be laughing my tail off it I were reading this.
Oh...my mom is back, thank the Lord...I can go help her do what she needs to do and I don't have to smell my uncles funk.

Check out my Slide Show!

2008-01-07T19:15:00.001-07:00

Just Another Day

2008-01-06T21:36:00.000-07:00

Today was a productive day for myself. I did all sorts off household chores and I supported Ryan in his adventure in the garage. I felt kinda crappy too....I was just stiff but that's enough to feel crappy. Right?
Steff just sat and watched Brad and Lindsey's slide show with me, she kept asking who it was with each picture. It was pretty funny. Then she said the cutest thing, she said she wanted to see Brad and Lindsey "today." I thought it was sweet. I was honestly happy to have her next to me as apposed to torturing her napping father.
I am sitting her blowing bubbles with my bubble gum and she keeps laughing and saying, "again, again..." She wants to touch the bubble but she's wary of what will happen if she does, she reaches out for it and then pulls her hand back. I'm having a great time with my little girl. They (the good times) seem few and far between but they do happen and they are the moments that I love to blog about. That is after all, why I started a blog. . .to keep a record of the things that my kids do and say that they may want to read about when they are older.
Like Steff calls binoculars, knockers...funny stuff.
It's been a long day. Say woke me up at about quarter after six and I've been going since. I haven't sat down much and my achy bones are telling me a story about it too. I think I feel icky because of the weather. Whenever the weather goes downhill I start to feel pain from my car accident. Speaking of car accidents, they are figuring out a dollar amount to settle on. I doubt it will be anything near what it should be. So, I don't think I'll settle. I don't want to be responsible for the repercussions from something that isn't my fault for the rest of my life. I don't know until they come back with an offer though and then maybe we can counter offer. After all, they did have to admit fault because I was rear-ended.

Read About My Rexy

2008-01-03T11:20:00.000-07:00

I just looked up some good info on Chihuahua's and how to take care of adults and puppies too. I read some good info, like they only need a bath once a month and to not get their ears wet because it can cause ear infections.
I read they are easy to paper train and that they need a space of their own. They are great family dogs but can be a little nervous around small children that they aren't used to.
He will take a day or two to get used to this being his new home and they are prone to gaining weight so they shouldn't have snacks.
I'm really looking forward to having a little friend. I hope he takes to me well. They are very protective of their owners and will follow them around. I think that will be so cute.
I also read they don't do well in temperatures that are lower than 45 degrees. So he'll have to have a coat and a sweater.

Going A Little Mad

2008-01-03T11:11:00.000-07:00

Driving me absolutely nuts is what Steff is up today. She keeps crying about everything. She has pulled the cushions off the couch again and right now she is crying because I won't let her cereal bowl sit out where Sadie can get it and yet she won't sit down and eat it. She just wants it on the table. She is driving me absolutely crazy. I am about ready to lose it with her. I just discovered that she took her diaper off again too. She's just being a demon this morning. Tears and tears and more tears is what I keep getting.
Now, she's freaking out because she wants me to cover her up with her blanket...Only fifteen more minutes and I'm getting Ryan up. He better crawl his butt right out of bed too or I'm seriously going to lose it with him too.
Sadie's not being much better. She keeps getting into the things she's not supposed to and she likes to destroy everything. Right now she's into the videos and the books. I think I've detoured her for the time being, I put one of the couch cushions in front of the book case where she can't reach them any longer.
I really hope Ryan wakes up decent today. I don't think I could handle another fight. I think that would be the straw that broke the camels back and I'd turn into the perpetual beast for sure.

Pain Day

2008-01-03T08:34:00.000-07:00

It's a pain day. I woke up this morning and my back is screaming. I feel like I have been kicked in the back. I don't know why today is so much worse than yesterday, I babied my back last night. Complete with a message and a heating pad. I just know, I want to lay around and nurse my back again. I mean heck, I didn't even do anything strenuous yesterday because I know my back has such a hard time. I have gotten a little better since I got up but I'm still ready to call Dr E and leave a message stating I slept wrong, is there anything he can do?
Not mentioning my pain level sucks, Steff is being super whiny this morning. She's usually a docile creature but she must have slept on the wrong side of the kitchen floor. I know it's terrible we let her sleep in there but we used to be able to let her fall asleep there and move her and now she just wakes up and screams for the kitchen. It's such a pain. I hate it quite honestly but for some reason she will not stay in her room. She gets up with her pillow and goes and lays down in the kitchen without you knowing she's doing it and then as I said, trying to move her turns into a scream fest.
I woke up to Ryan coming and telling me Sadie had been crying for twenty minutes. Usually I hear her but for some reason the lights were really out this morning. I remember telling Kieran to have a good day and he handed me a couple of things that I needed to sign so he could start visiting with the school counselor but that's it. I was back out...I didn't even hear my mom leave this morning.
I had to strip Sadie's clothes off because she wet through her clothes because I forgot to take her diaper off her and change it before she went to bed last night. I am just completely off today and last night. I wonder if I'll get my poop in a pile at some point this morning or if this is going to be the story of the day? If this is the story I'm sure I'll be back with more stupid things that I've done.

Always A Little Crazy

2008-01-02T10:51:00.000-07:00

Notice that the cushions are on the floor and the girls are jumping on the couch. No wonder I live my life on the brink of insanity.

Always a little crazy, is the story of my life. I feel nuts most of the time. I wonder if it's from having two small children and trying to give my ten year old what he needs while taking care of their needs or if maybe it's because I don't get a whole lot of adult interaction? It could be any number of things...I just know I'm crazy...

The girls are being good for the moment and the train is off......I just washed and dried my hair and it feels so refreshing. I may not be able to shower everyday but I do wash my hair regularly and that makes me feel nice and clean. I know, ew, she doesn't shower everyday...but, I do try to take a bath each day. Those I can take because Steff and Sadie come in the bathroom and play in the tub while I bathe. Then, of course, Steff takes a bath after I've emptied the tub and refilled it.

I'm going to start the decent into hell her in a minute. If you're wondering what I mean it's waking Ryan up. I hate waking him up. I hate it more than any of my other chores, including diapers. I could change poopy diapers all day if I never had to wake him up again. It's so hard to get him out of bed and the more I try the more he whines about how tired he is. Thing is, he whines about being tired even when he's gotten 8 hours of sleep. It could be ten hours and he'd still whine. I think once he hits 11 hours he starts to feel like a p.o.s. because he's slept most of his day away. There is not happy medium.

Don't get wrong, I look forward to Ryan being up. I legitimately enjoy my husband's company but it's the getting him out of bed that I don't like. If he would just get out of bed instead of taking at least 30 minutes it wouldn't both me at all to get him up but it does take that long and I hate it.

So, I just made my first attempt at getting Ryan up...and, I'm typing and not publishing because he wanted another half an hour because he didn't go to be until after 4am sometime. Like it's my fault that he doesn't go to bed at a decent hour. I have to put up with this crap every day. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. Trying to wake him up brings a lot of swear words to mind...I could have some very colorful language right about now but I will keep it clean. Just know, that I hate waking Ryan up everyday. I wish he were a self-starter but he's not so I'll spend the rest of my life fighting with him about getting out of bed.

I have been worrying about having a puppy in the house because of all the work they require but it just occurred to me that at least I'll have something to do. I doubt I'll be blogging quite as much as usual and I'm so excited to get my puppy. I can't even begin to put into words how excited I am to have a little cuddle bug and a lap dog. I have still been reading up on chihuahua puppies and how to take care of them.

Sadie just went from happy to pissed off in no time flat. I was typing one second and the next she's screaming like Steff is pestering her. I guess that's her clue to me that she's ready for a nap.

I got Ryan up, now, he's laying on the couch and only God knows how long he's going to lay there and sleep for.

I figured out how to get Ryan to wake up...talk about money. That's the only thing he can't handle sleeping through. He will wake up for money. Yep, he's up...I feel so much better. I like it when he gets right out of bed and is awake. I don't understand how he can be so tired after sleeping for at least 7 hours. I know it's because I wake right up and get moving so he seems in short, lazy to me. I know that's why I hate his sleeping habits. But, I figure it's not fair to everyone else to be a burden on others while I wake up. Granted, I take naps and burden others but figuring that out is half the battle. I guess I will be watching myself from now on. I didn't realize I was as bad as he is....oops.

Normal Morning

2008-01-02T08:57:00.000-07:00

It's been a normal morning and Ryan and I made it through last night-exhausted, but we made it through. Once I turned on Sprout, Steff and Sadie mellowed right down. Which made for a much easier time. I can't believe it took turning the television to their station to get them to behave. That's terrible...
I just lifted Steff over the couch and I about killed myself. She weighs a ton. Okay, so she really weighs like 35 pounds but feeling as stiff as I do, I could have swore she weighed more than that. I thought I was gonna fall onto the couch with her.
I hate being bored and rambling on, but that's the theme for this morning. I've already started my second episode of Caillou and I've watched a little news. Sadie will let me watch it first thing in the morning but it's like once she watches Sprout, the tv has to stay on Sprout. It really sucks sometimes.
I'm feeling better than yesterday but I'm still feeling stiff. I am even having a hard time typing because my hands are so stiff. I hate it when it's like this. Of course, I hate being even in a little pain. Why would I want to do that? I can think of better things...who couldn't? Today is not bad though, just stiff.
I am about sick of not having things to do. I need a new hobby. This whole blogging thing is not as fun or productive as I thought it would be. It's not bad and it is something to do but I would like a productive hobby. Something that produces results of some magnitude. I can only sit at my computer for so long or I get bored with being bored.

So, we went to Starbucks and Steff had the lady at the window laughing. She saw that I had gotten banana nut bread and she started yelling, "bread, bread, bread" and then, I just looked at the lady and told her, "she loves this bread," and she just laughed. Which is good, since she looked a little on the ornery side before Steff's verbal outburst.
Sadie will not leave Steff's train alone. I don't know what to do. I keep having to get her and put her back in the living room and tell her "no." I'm sick of Steff freakin' out each time Say gets a hold of her train. I wish we have never gotten Steff that train. I would like to put it away but Steff keeps playing with it. If she weren't playing with it so much I would put it away. She likes it though.
Arg..that train is going to be the death of my sanity. It keeps coming off the track and it makes this ticking sound....tick, tick, tick, tick, tick...but really fast...Ah...it did it again...And, Steff will not let me turn it off. It just goes around and around the track, then she'll go play with it and I feel bad for wanting to put it away. I think I figure out how to not have to listen to it and then she goes and turns it back on.
Oh...I'm sick of being her little servant mother. She wanted to lay down on the couch and of course that meant I had to cover her up with her blanket, then she wanted a fruit snack and more banana bread. So, I got the fruit snack and banana bread and put them in a bowl like she likes and then she wanted her juice. So, I went into the kitchen, where she slept last night...and got the juice bottle off the floor. I had gotten her virtually everything she wants in the morning so I figured I could go back to blogging...
And, Sadie's attacking the train again....Steff is speaking in tongues at her. Oh...boy....I guess I better go rescue the train. Okay, or Steff will just go rip it out of her hands, like she just did. Ohm poor Say...she's gonna be bullied by her big sister for the rest of her childhood.
I have checked our account, ordered stamps, gone to Starbucks, made a pot of coffee and played nurse maid to Steff, which makes Sadie seem all that much easier than she really is and I've blogged about everything that has been happening. And, I'm bored again.
We are watching Caillou's Holiday Movie-again. I put it on though since it's an hour long. I don't have to play the "on demand" game for an hour when I put this movie on.
Oh, she's freakin out because she can't get her train to stay on the tracks. I'm losing it because I have to keep go and fix it and it's driving me nuts.
Now, she's pulling the tracks apart-again. She did this last night too, only she doesn't understand how to put it back together, so it's "help, mommy." Oh....

It's Been A Mellow Morning

2008-01-01T09:24:00.000-07:00

It's been one of those mellow yet demanding mornings. Steff has had me chasing things down...like her juice, her blanket, getting her a bowl of cereal and changing the channel to what shows she wants to watch each time one gets over. We've played the "On Demand" game a few times already.
Ryan has started his decent in to darkness. He stayed up til 2am last night trying to get used to being up late so when he goes back to work he's not exhausted that whole first week. He'll stay up late again tonight since tomorrow is back to business. To be honest, having him home has been a lot nicer than I thought it would be. I thought I'd be ready to send him back to work after two days or worse yet, kill him. But, that is not the case, I have certainly enjoyed having him home.
I also learned something over this break...I wish he could work days. It was nice the two days that he went in during the day to have him leave in the morning and come home in the evening and I did it all without any help from my mom. She was at work one day and nursing her eyes the next. So, as I have come to figure out quite well, I do not need her and she can move out now......
Sadie has been up to business as usual. She ate a bottle and pooped. Each and every morning we do this same routine. What's she going to do when I take the bottle away? She's such a good little peanut. I have no complaints when it comes to her temperament. Now, I do wish she'd stand, walk or talk but other than those wishes I have no demands as a mother. Hehehe Can you hear the sarcasm in my typing?
Steff is being pretty good-right now. She's just watching television and being docile. She's usually pretty docile in the morning but she does have her usual demands. She at least greets me with "it's a sunny day" every morning before she starts in on her wants. She always asks for something to eat. Sometimes it's a bowl of cereal and sometimes it's oatmeal. She always asks for me to get her blanket and cover her up and she always wants Sprout. I cannot watch my news in the morning with her up. Never, no way...
Steff did do something out of character or maybe Ryan and I found a way to get her to let us watch a show we want. We told her that it was a "mommy, daddy show" and she stopped throwing her fit and let us watch something. I don't even remember what it was but I know how we figured out how to do that...We had unsuccessfully put her in her room to go to bed and she somehow made her way into the living room with her pillow and blanket and decided that was were she was falling asleep. Well, Ryan and I were watching a movie and she wanted Sprout but we told her that it was time for a "mommy, daddy movie" and she said something to the effect of repeating the desire and she laid down and went to sleep. So, we tried it again and it worked...I know this won't work for long but at least we'll get a few good shows in...
I'm feeling a little sore this morning. I can't be sure why or why the Ultram isn't working but I don't feel too hot. I feel more like I have shoveled a foot of snow and my back has ceased up. I also have bone pain. I have, however, had zero right hip pain. I got an injection in that hip a couple of weeks ago and I have had no pain in it since. Now, the other hip is a different story but my right hip feels great! I know, you're thinking why only one hip??? Well, I had never had an injection in my hips and I was afraid it would cause more pain so we (me and doc E) decided to try it in one hip and see how I like it. I love it! is the answer to that question and I am going to be making yet, another doctors appointment so I can go in for my other hip to be injected. I can't get any relief in my back but why have sore hips?
The girls are playing and being cute. Steff is playing with the tracks to the train Ryan found in the attic yesterday and Sadie is watching television and spitting like a llama. I am trying to keep myself busy while I wait for time to tick by. I'm letting Ryan catch his full 8 hours of sleep and I have less than five minutes to go before I can go wake him up.
Today is grocery day and with the pain I'm feeling I'm not looking forward to it but it has to be done. We don't have much to get but we still have to do it. I know Ryan is going to be hating it as much as I am since he has had upper back pain for the last week. I know he thinks I'm sick of hearing him talk about it but really I feel bad that he hurts. I know what it's like to hurt and I feel for him. I wish I could take it away or make him feel better but I can't. I try to do all that I can for him...
I just realized I haven't blogged about Mr. Kieran but that's because he went to Marla's last night so he hasn't been up to anything at our house. I have checked on Princess and she's doing well, her tank is at the perfect temp and she greeted me at the side when I turned on her light. I will be checking on her again in a short while to make sure she doesn't need any heat.
Well, I can wake Ryan up now and the grocery store adventure will begin...

Feeling Overwhelmed

2007-12-31T15:07:00.000-07:00

Wow do I feel a little overwhelmed. My house is full of people and I just want to relax. I am going to be taking Kieran to his grams here in a few minutes though. I think that will be a nice drive.

What A Day

2007-12-30T23:00:00.000-07:00

It's been a day to well, honestly I'll forget it but it's been one of those days. Mady had Sadie most of the day and then when she'd tried to put her down Say would whine. It was quite cute. Kieran hung with Mady and checked on his turtle tons of times. I have to admit I'm proud of him. Steff was up to her usual antics but she didn't get into anything serious so it was a good day with her any way you look at it. Ryan went through period after period were he would get disgruntled and then he'd be happy and then back again. Of course, his mood would go south and so would mine and it took me longer to bounce back from the downs that he seemed to.
Sounds like for New Years Eve we are headed over to my mother in-laws for the festivities. I wonder how that's going to be since we aren't going over there until 8pm...? It might be hell and it might not be. Steff may just crash out at some point in the night and Say, well, you never know with her. That is her usual bedtime so maybe my mom could watch her but I don't know what she has planned. It's just ideas I'm throwing into the air since I'm blogging out of boredom.
I had a fairly good day-emotionally that is. I kinda got sick of Ryan's nit-picking but I chalked it up to him having lots of work stress that he has managed to bring home. He's said work is really bothering him. I guess they got four new machines that he's got to oversee and it's really wearing on him. I feel for him but I cannot understand the stress he's feeling since I don't work there or really understand anything that he does. I'm proud of him, don't get me wrong, but I don't quite get the whole machining thing much at all. More than some but less than most.
I am feeling pretty good about this day as far as cleaning goes. I got down on my hands and knees and mopped the kitchen floor today. It always feels good when I get that done. I also picked up toys and stuff half a dozen times.
Ryan got the nastiest email from a friend of his that he hadn't talked to in years...the guy simply said to quit sending junk mail and left it at that. No, Hi, how's the family, how are you-nothing just quit sending me junk mail. Ryan was pretty livid and sent him back an email saying his family is doing well, thanks for asking. I thought it was funny since he's the type of person who wouldn't say anything if he had a mouth full of poo. I was quite honestly proud of him for having the guts to email Casey back what he said. I guess he was just on a rampage with everyone though.
Well, it's been a long day and I'm going to go read.

Pics of The Fam

2007-12-29T13:57:00.000-07:00

I just printed these pictures for this neat little wall hanging I have and I thought it would be nice to blog them too. I think the kids look really cute and Ryan and I have a decent picture of eachother, together...

I'm SO Bored

2007-12-29T12:45:00.000-07:00

I am bored to tears. There is nothing to do and no one to talk to. My darling husband is at work and my mom is nursing her eyes and Kieran just got into the shower. Sure, I could run around and pick up the five toys that are laying around but I'd much rather not since, they will just end up on the floor in less than 10 minutes.
Steff hasn't done much today, she did run off the with remote control and that of course, is a bad thing so I got the chance to chase her around for a minute before she climbed under her bed and stashed it there. Other than little trick she hasn't done much today. She has been pretty good. Yah, she keeps asking for food that she doesn't eat but that's about the extent of her antics so far today. She has learned how to get the remote off the television. Since she is too short to reach she pulls the table she got for Christmas over and stands on top of it. I have to give credit for being creative but that just means she found something new to use to climb up on the counters and get what she wants.
Kieran just got home and I told him he needed to take a shower. He wasn't very happy about that but I told him that humans start to stink when they don't bathe. He decided he could use his new body wash that he got in his stocking and thus he jumped in without any more griping.
I am so bored. I am thinking and thinking of what I can do. I never thought having Steff be good would make the day go by so slow. I would do thank you cards for Christmas gifts but I did those the day after Christmas. I have printed off pictures for family members. And, I have blogged on our family blogg. What to do?

This Week

2007-12-27T20:18:00.000-07:00

This week has been wonderful. I have had Ryan home for five days. I can't think of any better Christmas gift than having my wonderful husband and best friend home for this long. I could kiss his boss for giving them paid time off for Christmas. I'm just kidding but I do appreciate it immensely.
Christmas was good day for me. Ryan had a hard time and said it sucked because he was so tired that he couldn't enjoy the morning while the kids' were opening their gifts. He said he was just too tired to want to do anything but sleep. I have to be honest when he first said it sucked I was a bit on the defensive. I couldn't understand what made him say such a rotten thing about the day our Saviour was born. But, then he explained how he didn't get to enjoy watching the kids open their gifts. I wasn't so butt hurt after he explained it.
Kieran told me tonight that he got everything he wanted and that the air soft riffle that he wanted wasn't really that big of a want. I thought it was cute. He explained to me that it was one of those things that he thought he wanted and that he does want but not for Christmas. It was so funny. He could have just told me that he got almost everything he wanted. I loved the conversation though.
Steff had been being such a good girl for most of today. That is, until she took a short nap and since then she's been a stinker and super whiny...I actually camcorded her being a brat. I was taping Say taking a bath and Steff came in and proceeded to through a fit because she wanted to take a bath and thus, I turned that camcorder on her and away I taped her fit. That will be good blackmail later in life...
Sadie has been a little spitting machine today. But, just a second ago Ryan read an email and was laughing really hard and Sadie bust up laughing too. It was cute. Right now, she it spitting...and spitting and spitting. She keeps doing that raspberry thing that babies do. She's been doing it all day and to add to the mix she's had a runny nose and so every now again we have to wipe her whole face because she's covered in spit and snot.
Kieran is cleaning his room. He keeps coming up and giving us updates on what he's done and how well he's doing. I have to admit, I'm proud of him for taking pride in his room. Yeah, it's gotten dirty here and there and it was a wreck when Ryan went down to fix his television and Ryan of course, told him to get it cleaned up. He wasn't too happy but I asked him the other day if it was clean and he told me it was. I should have known better than to believe that he'd gotten all his Christmas stuff put away and cleaned up the boxes but I took his word for it. Silly mother I am, I am...
Well, it's time to be lazy again. I have nothing really pressing to do. I have a clean house...which is usually where I spend my time. So, time to go be lazy with my husband

The End to This Day

2007-12-20T22:51:00.001-07:00

Today, has been a good day. I did quite a bit and here I sit feeling the exhaustion. It's okay though, I feel good about today. We went Christmas shopping, Kieran and I went to a doctor's appointment and then we sat at Walmart for an hour while they filled my prescriptions. Yeah, it was an hour...I couldn't believe it. Why did it take so blasted long? Don't know and can't change it but it still just blows my mind.

I really enjoyed Christmas shopping and we are finished, except for one gift card to FYE for ten bucks. That's it and we're done. I will probably go get it tomorrow sometime and then we'll be completely finished. That's so exciting. There have been years where we have been shopping on Christmas eve, those days sucked-big time. Not this year, praise the Lord.

The kids were pretty good tonight...Kieran was my little buddy and I really enjoyed spending time alone with him. He was fun...as he usually is when I remember he's just a kid and he needs to act like one. Dr. E put him on a new med...he put him on Paxil for his anxiety and his anger and stress level. He did a lot of talking and asked Kieran many questions before he asked me if I'd rather wait until after the holidays or if I wanted to try it now. I obviously chose to have him get on it now, but with good reason. He's been down and having a hard time with Sean not being here and he's been having peer problems at school and that just adds to his stress level even once he's home. It's not like we can't take him off it once his stressors have reduced. I just think he needs it for a period of time. Besides, it will be interesting to see if we see any changes in him.

Steff was rambunctious as usual, she just ran around and went and went and went until she dropped at 10:30. She was actually pretty easy to put to bed and she even stayed in her bed instead of going to the hallway or the kitchen to fall asleep. She's such a little spit-fire. I love her to death though. She says the funniest things and she's a little parrot. So, no swearing at my house, it's just not wise to have her around that kind of environment. We weren't bad before she started parroting but we don't even say "hell" any more. I don't say squat since I got busted on Sadie's birthday when Steff said "damn it" three times, right in front of my mother in-law. I could have died.

Sadie was a little on the clingy side, not bad but definitely more clingy than she usually is. She is still doing that squealing thing she started doing. She gets so excited and she'll just squeal at you. I can't wait to see her react to other people besides those of us that live in this house. I know Christmas is going to be an overstimulating experience for her. At least she will sleep whenever the mood strikes her. Besides, she such a good baby I can't imagine the hustle and bustle of Christmas being too tough.

Our Christmas day events are pretty few. On Christmas morning we don't have anywhere to be until we go to Ryan's dad's at 11. That is going to be nice, just hanging out at home for a little while before we have to leave. After that we don't have to go anywhere until 6pm when we go over to my sisters for my family get together. It should be a nice, fairly relaxing day.

I'm still looking forward to Christmas and after I go to bed and wake up in the morning it will only be 4 days until the big event. I'm so excited. This is going to be a good Christmas. And, next year is going to be even better.

Slept Wrong

2007-12-20T08:15:00.000-07:00

I must have slept wrong. My right hip is kicking my butt. It has this rotten stabbing pain in it that is radiating down my leg. It feels like someone is literally sticking a knife into me hip and stabbing me, then they take the knife and run it down my leg. I have taken something for the pain but it doesn't seem to be working, at least not on the pain. I have gotten tired but haven't gotten any relief. Oh...I hate having bursitis.
Sadie is sitting on the floor doing raspberries and squealing at the characters on Sprout. It's the cutest thing.
Kieran has gone off to school but he'll only be there for a little over an hour because he has an appointment with Dr. Kluthe at 10 am. He was so mature when he learned that he wasn't going to be at school for the whole day, he was even given a choice of whether he wanted to go back to school or not. I thought for sure that he'd want to go back since it's only a half day and his class is doing fun Christmas stuff but he didn't he said he'd rather spend the time with his gram.
Marla is going to keep Kieran for a little while so Ryan and I can finish our Christmas shopping for him. I just adore and appreciate that woman so much. She is such a blessing from God. The bonus is that all my kids just love her to death...

Getting More Excited

2007-12-20T07:13:00.000-07:00

I am still getting more and more excited for Christmas. I don't know if it's because this is the first year Steff will be opening her gifts with excitement or if I am pleased with what we've done for Kieran-or maybe it's both. I do know that if I'm excited this year, next year is going to be a real treat since Sadie will be into the whole gift opening thing and Steff will be able to start to understand what Christmas is all about.
I have been thinking about taking my children to church. Ryan agrees it would be good for them and that they need to learn how to pray and who Jesus is. I thought he'd be against me taking them to my church but he's not at all. He thinks it would be good for Steff to socialize with other children and learn how to sit still and "do" things.
I remember when Kieran was 4 he said the sweetest thing and I started crying. It was Easter and I had gone to pick him up from the nursery and his teacher said, "It is true," and Kieran yelled in his little voice, "He is alive!" To this day that was the sweetest thing he's ever said...Now the funniest thing he ever said was right after Christmas the first year Ryan and I were together...He said, "I got everything I wanted for Christmas...Cuz Santa's cool like that." Ryan and I cracked right up and to this day, we still laugh about it.
Steff says equally funny things. Lately she's been asking for "some sanity." One day she was telling me she was hungry and wanted some food and I looked at her and told her I wanted some sanity. So now, whenever she's hungry she asks for some sanity...Or just out of the blue she'll ask for some.
I can hardly wait to hear Sadie start talking. She has been doing a new thing...she's been squealing. she'll be sitting on the floor, watching Sprout and she'll squeal. It's cute and much different than the "ho-ing" she usually does or that she used to do. She's also saying "mama" and "dada" much more. I think she's starting to put the names to the faces. Kieran wants us to teach her "bubu" for brother.

Getting So Excited and Going Crazy

2007-12-19T16:17:00.000-07:00

I am ever so excited for Christmas and it's coming fast...fast, fast, fast...Today I had an appointment with my family for a Christmas surprise for all our parents and grandparents and it was a chore. I hope they all appreciate it greatly...I know we'll love it when it gets here but I don't know if everyone will understand the sacrifice we had to go through. We had two tired, ornery little girls and an exhausted daddy. Kieran and I did good and we stayed in a great mood but we could have done without the drama.
I am feeling pretty good, I haven't had any pain for quite some time. Matter of a fact I don't really remember the last time I felt this good. I haven't had pain for days and I do mean days. That's quite the big deal since I usually live in some level of pain.
I slept in our bed last night and it was nice and comfortable. I loved every minute of it, up until I had to get out of bed to get ready for our miserable adventure today. The only good thing about getting out of bed was that I had the chance to take a shower without a single interruption. None, not even a little knock at the door. I was able to relax and just soak up the nice steam. I actually had a moment of dignity.
My son is driving me crazy...he wants to argue about every little thing. For instance, the fifth grade is doing a gift exchange and the gift needs to be something that either a boy or a girl would like and it can't cost more than a dollar. Well, we have the perfect gift in which we had planned to give Kieran but he doesn't want to give up one of his gifts. I even told him I'd get him a better gift than the one under the tree and he just refused to agree. I finally just told him that he was going to take this gift to school and deal with it or I wasn't going to replace it. Man kids are so selfish with their gifts sometimes. The funny part is what the gift is and where it came from. It's an over sized deck of cards that came from the dollar store. I had gotten them to put in his stocking but I already had too much stuff to put in his stocking and they wouldn't fit, so, I wrapped them.

Going Mad

2007-12-15T20:07:00.000-07:00

Ryan is on the verge of going crazy and completely pulling his hair out. I feel for him since I take care of children everyday. He's fed up with Steff's antics. She keeps going in the kitchen and getting into things. The kitchen is the most dangerous place for her to be...she gets into the most trouble there.
While I was taking a nice soaking bath to ease the spasms in my back Steff was in the kitchen hucking my mom's tape dispenser. She successfully broke it and sand spilled all over the floor. I wanted to scream, but instead I just got the broom and cleaned it up. Well, the best I could anyway. Sand is one of those things that requires a good vacuum job to get it all up.
I am feeling okay today, I haven't had any hip pain which is good. I actually think it's excellent to not have any pain in my hips. I have had an annoying pain in my lower middle back but that's the same pain I've had every day since I got into my car accident. My mom thinks I should sue the lady that hit me since it hasn't gotten any better and it's been a year and a half.
I don't know what to do. I believe too many people sue for stupid reasons and I don't want to be one of those people. On the other hand, I have been in pain every day since she hit me, my hips now have bursitis in them and my placenta seperated from my uterus during my pregnancy, which can be caused by hard, jaring motions...oh, say, like a car accident...All I can really do is pray about it. I know the Lord will lead me in the right direction. I just have to have faith. Chances are though, I won't sue. I'm just not that kind of person.
There she goes again, being a stinker. Ryan has been trying to tweak his computer to run better and Steff hit the reset button and crashed the whole thing. Ryan about lost it. I just picked her up and put her on the other side of the couch and told her that she can't be over by the computers. You see, she was over here earlier tonight and now she thinks she's allowed over here. I knew it wasn't good when I saw her over here with her dad. I told him and he ignored me. I even put her back over the couch then.
I'm about ready to go to bed. I woke up at 5:45 this morning. Wide awake, and ready to start my day. I only got 5 hours of sleep and my body told me that was enough. What kind of crap is that? I wish I could have a day where I sleep in but, even if Ryan were to get up with the kids in the morning my innate sense of curiosity would kick in and I'd have to get up and see what's going on in my house and in the world. I figure one day I'll be able to sleep as much as I'd like without the interuptions of little children. Hell, Ryan and I will have quiet time alone. That would be strange...wonderful but definitely different than what we are used to.
My lips are so blasted chapped. I have been putting chapstick on them and yet they still aren't feeling better. I wish I could think of someway to get them to stop stinging. I guess I'll just keep using chapstick and pray for relief.
Ugh. . . she's going to drive us all mad. She keeps trying and trying to come over by the computers and each time I tell her no she whines and cries that she can be over here. Now, she's playing with the curtains and saying "get outta hewe." Then she runs all over the house like a chicken with her head cut off. Ryan keeps trying to reason with her and I don't think it's working too well. She says, "yes" but then she turns around and does it all over again.
I need to go, Ryan is sitting on the couch and waiting for me.
One last thing on the note of Christmas...I am getting a 7 foot bookshelf for Christmas!!! I'm so excited to get all my books out and put them on display!!! One day I'd like to have a library. Not the local library type thing, just a personal one.

Check Our Family Blog

2007-12-15T07:46:00.001-07:00

I just wanted to remind everyone to check our family blog for the things that are more relevant to our family and a little less personal. www.krazyfamily.blogspot.com

Oh...My Hip!!!

2007-12-14T14:12:00.000-07:00

I am hurting today something fierce. My hip hurts so bad that I'm almost in tears. I have tried heat and ice on it and the heat makes it hurt worse and the ice helps a little. I wish there was a quick fix to this. I know I could probably go into the doctor for a cortisone shot but I've heard they take days to start working. I also read that they can cause even more problems that require surgery to fix. That's something I'd like to avoid if possible.
I would take an Ultram but I'm out. Fresh out. I can't even muster up the gumption to do anything constructive. Matter of fact, sitting here at my computer is quite excruciating but, I'm bored and couldn't think of anything else to do.

I hope those of you who have been reading this blog have been reading our family blog also. I try to just update that one with info on the family and nothing personal. I figured I'd use this one as a place to express my feelings...Maybe that's not a great idea but I love journaling and I can type faster than I write...

It's Cold Out There

2007-12-14T08:02:00.000-07:00

I can't be sure what the temperature is but I'm thinking somewhere in the 20's. I'm a summer kind of girl. I'd rather sweat than freeze and lately all I've done is freeze, along with everyone else. I was wanting winter to come and, I was grateful when it finally arrived. I do after all, love the snow. I think it's beautiful and peaceful but I'm looking forward to Summer again. I've had enough of the cold. I don't know how someone can live in a place like, oh say, Alaska...I'd never make it.
On the other hand, I can't have Christmas without the snow and the cold. It just wouldn't feel right. So, here's my answer...I'm hoping God will agree and change the weather patterns-yeah right...I'm thinking it can snow from November through December and then we go into Spring...Not continue having icky cold until sometime in March...I know there's only one problem with my theory...This is a desert state and the only way we can have enough water to make it through our very hot and wonderful Summers is to have lots of snow and long winters.
I guess I'll just do what I do every year...deal with it...

On a Christmas note. It's only 11 days until the big event. I can't be sure why I'm excited other than I know Steff is going to get into the gift opening thing this year and Kieran is super excited. So, I'll have two of my beautiful children excited to open gifts on Christmas morning. Next year, Sadie should be into it a little more and she will be for sure the year after. The only bummer about the spacing of my children is that the girls will be getting into Christmas more and more and Kieran will be getting into it less and less. I wish I could have them all excited at the same time. Oh well, the only thing I can do is instill in Kieran a complete and everlasting excitement for Christmas.

Sadie and I are the only ones up right now and I suspect Steff will sleep a bit longer. She didn't go to bed until 11pm and she woke up around 3am, wanting daddy to read her a story and of course he went in and spent a few minutes with her. He loves his kids so much that he will give them attention any time he can...even in the middle of the night.

Kieran always wakes up in such a good mood but when he gets home from school he's in a different place. I ended up writing him a note to stay in from recess today. I know that might not have been the right thing to do but he caught me on the spot and I was rushed and not thinking right. I guess the good thing is that I'll be able to see if there is a difference in his attitude when he gets home. We'll see if he's feeling like everyone hates him or if he's at peace. I know I need to have a conversation with his teacher and after I finish this blog I will be emailing his teacher asking for a meeting with him. I need to get to the bottom of this...

Worried About Kieran

2007-12-13T21:47:00.000-07:00

I am so worried about Kieran. I know he's been having troubles at school. He keeps begging me to write him a note saying he can stay in from recess. . .I ask him why and he tells me he has a cold and shouldn't be outside. I know he feels fine because he comes home and plays with his sisters and Nick all the time without any word about not feeling well.
I wonder what's going on. Is he the cause of some problem and he doesn't want to be around other kids. Or, are they just being cruel to him for some unknown reason...? I know he's a sensitive kid and he cries at a lot of things but I don't know if he's that way at school. He did say something to the effect that he was called a "baby." I can feel his pain with that. I was a cry baby and it caused me a lot of problems when I was in grade school. I remember feeling alone and like I didn't have any friends. It was horrible. I would never do grade school again-never. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. I think that's sad that my childhood memories are riddled with bad school experiences. I should have loved being at school...I remember loving to learn but actually socializing...no chance at that...
I hope he's not experiencing those same feelings but I honestly fear he is. I wish I could be there at school as a fly on the wall. I want to take it all away and give him nothing but great memories of grade school. I didn't ever have any problems making friends when I was in Jr. High and High School so maybe he can make it through this year and the next and find peace and friendship when he's in Jr. High.
I truly worry about suicidal thoughts though. He's threatened to "kill himself" in the past and you can never know how serious that really is. I would hate to lose my child because I didn't head his warnings. I just hope the pressure doesn't eat him so much that he feels there is no other way. I am so worried.
I have thoughts of him being upset because it's Christmastime and he only lost his dad a year and half ago so the pain is still really raw. But, I can't just pin his problems on that without at least trying to help him see that it's what his family, who loves him unconditionally, thinks. I remind him all the time that he's loved and I make sure I take him with me whenever I leave to go somewhere so that we get that one on one time and so that he feels special.
All I can do at this point is listen to the Lord and give Him all these problems. I know He'll see us through but sometimes it's hard to keep faith. I wouldn't say my faith is wavering, it's just that sometimes I forget to have faith. I forget to let God have my fears and troubles. He did say that he'd never leave us.

Step Mom

2007-12-13T08:48:00.000-07:00

My step mom stopped by this morning. It always nice when she comes by. I just adore her so very much. She's always been very honest and straight forward with me and with everyone else for that matter. She's a straight shooter. She'll tell you like it is, whether you like it or not. But, it's always a fresh point of view and you always know how she feels.
We just talked about family stuff for the most part. Like what my siblings are up to and how they should change some of things they are doing. They also need to grow and realize that their parents aren't out to get them, they are simply trying to save them from grief. I know it took me into my mid to late twenties before I started realize what a great woman my dad married. I learned to love that woman with every part of my being and, it's not hard. She's just such a great person. Hell, she has to be to put up with my dad for as long as she has.
My kids love her too. Sadie cries every time she starts to walk toward the door to leave. And, Kelly loves that. I would too, if I were a grandparent. She's a good grandma too. She loves my kids and sometimes they have the opportunity to brighten her day. Like she was telling me, Kieran had called for something or other and he just out of the blue told her that he loved her. She needed it that day and it helped her feel much better.
Steff just asked "where gram ma go?" I told her to work and she repeated me. Of course, she then barked at me that she wanted some juice...Kids are funny.

I Got Red

2007-12-13T07:01:00.000-07:00

I really enjoyed going to my nail appointment yesterday. She did take a little longer than I would have liked and that left no time for me to spend with Ryan but none-the-less, it was a good treat. I ended up getting a dark, Christmas red and a little holly decal. I really do enjoy having red on my nails. It makes such a statement and there is only a couple times a year that it's really appropriate...Christmastime and Valentine's. My nails have a glitter in the color so they are sparkly.
Right now, it's just me and Sadie up. She's over playing with the basket of toys I got for her and I'm sitting here blogging about completely lame things. I get so bored sometimes. Especially when it needs to stay quiet so those that are still sleeping can do just that, sleep.
Steffanie woke up around 5:45 because her pillow was on the floor. We went in and retrieved it and I got her some juice and back to sleep she went. I'm hoping she'll sleep until around 9 or 10. I doubt it, but she did go to bed pretty late, so maybe.

Getting Ready

2007-12-12T11:02:00.000-07:00

I have a nail appointment today. I'm so excited to have Christmas nails. . .I guess that's probably something obvious since all I can talk about is how excited for Christmas I am. I don't know what I'll have her do, maybe red tips. I tried that once and loved it. I thought they'd drive me crazy but I really liked having such a vibrant color on my nails.
I was just getting ready for my appointment. I actually took a bath, washed my hair, did my makeup and did my hair. Can you believe it.? I am dressed to kill or at the very least a blind man would be happy to see me.
It was a circus while I got ready. My daughters were running and crawling all over the place. I had to take a book away from Sadie before she annihilated it and Steff was in to all my kitchen utensils. It was interesting to say the least. Ya know I have to keep up with Steff or she'll wreck my house. Sadie was equally destructive this time. She kept picking up toys and throwing them everywhere. I have to admit it was funny but the outcome isn't so nice.
I really enjoyed getting ready to go somewhere. I rarely wear makeup or do my hair anymore. I feel bad for my husband. He says he likes that I don't have to wear makeup but I feel bad. Poor guy doesn't have a wife that gets all dolled up for him anymore. I'm just so wrapped up in kids that I don't have time for myself and I don't have the energy to do my hair and makeup.
I know it won't always be this way. One day they will be in school and I will have time to myself to shower and stuff. Then maybe my darling husband will have a wife that gets beautiful for him...
Right now my daughters are docile. Steff is sitting on the couch watching Sesame Street and Say is in bed. I will be attempting to wake Ryan here in about 15 minutes. Notice I said, "attempt?" He went to bed about 4 and I'm sure it took a few minutes for him to fall asleep. I know he has to work late to get the overtime hours but it really sucks that he gets home so late because he has to sleep into the afternoon so much. I wish he were like me and could live on 5 or 6 hours without any problem. But, he's not...he has to have at least 7 hours of sleep or there is no light on.
I'm now sitting here enjoying that I can blog about me and life in general because I created a blog for our family. It's www.krazyfamily.blogspot.com You should check it out. . .I'm hoping Ryan and Kieran will make appearance here and there and give a little insight into how they see life in this family. It would be nice to hear about Ryan's thoughts. I've probably already blogged about this but it's still so new and I'd like people to read it...

Still Excited

2007-12-12T08:25:00.000-07:00

I'm still feeling excited and I think my children are too. They keep being naughty. My mom said she remembers the excitement being too much for my brother and I and we'd act worse around Christmas than any other time of the year. I think my kids are doing the same thing. Kieran has been super sensitive and thinks all the kids at school don't like him and Steff is being a super stinker. Sadie is the only one still acting normal but I just think she's too little to understand the presents. Yeah, Steff's a little young too, but she does know there are presents and she's always saying she wants to open them. It's like the tree went up and the kids went nuts...
Other than feeling like the days are dragging and Christmas will never come, I am doing well. Of course, I'm still taking my meds and that helps immensely. I think without them I'd go nuts. With Steff getting into every single thing and doing terrible two's things and Kieran being so sensitive. It's a no wonder I have to take a mood stabilizer.
My house has been staying clean and I'm looking forward to Christmas Eve. I have a rule that Santa doesn't come to a dirty house. It sure makes it easier to put all the new stuff away when the house has had a nice cleaning before the gifts get shredded open.
I have had my quota of coffee today but that's not going to stop me from drinking more. Remember my new mantra? Life's too short, stay awake for it...Sometimes I wonder if Ryan is right about the fact that I sleep like crap at night because I drink coffee all day long...I did start trying to not have coffee after 6pm just to test his theory that that's what is keeping me up. Of course, I just started it last night and I had a good night of sleep but I don't know if that's because I had less coffee or if it was all the sleeping medicine I took before bed? It could very well be both though. Who knows? I'll try anything to get more great nights of sleep...
I have been feeling alive and well. I haven't had many flair ups with my bursitis and my lower and middle back have been feeling great. I have been very careful about the things I do and how I sleep. Granted, I'm still sleeping on the couch and that doesn't help but it hasn't been bad at all. I can actually say I have moments throughout the day where I have no pain. No pain...do you know how great that is? When I can sit back and not feel stabbing or throbbing pain I almost remember what it was like to be younger again.
I'm pushing 30 and you'd think being a woman would make me feel depressed but I am actually excited. I won't be a young 20 something any more. I'm particularly excited for my birthday present...a Chihuahua...I get a new baby in my house. Yeah, the potting training is going to suck a lot but I will have my own personal lap dog to take everywhere I go. He's light brown and white and his name is Rexy. His mama's name is Roxy so I wanted to name him something close to hers. I know it's silly but having a little puppy when I still have two kids in diapers is silly too. I must be nuts. I will be potty training Steff at the same time I'm potty training Rexy. Oh, boy...

Steff and Sadie Playing Together

2007-12-11T10:40:00.000-07:00

The cutest, most sweet thing is going on right now. Steff and Sadie are playing together and laughing like best friends. It's like a little glimpse into the future and the wonderful friendship they will share together.
Yes, I realize they will also fight like cats and dogs but that will only make them stronger.
They are chasing each around the house and around this white chair that we have. I haven't even had to get after Steff for being too rough. Well, at least not yet.
They are just so cute together sometimes.

Quiet Morning

2007-12-11T08:16:00.000-07:00

It's been a nice quiet, winter morning. Sadie and I are the only ones up. She is doing her usual...crawling around and playing while being absolutely happy. Thus far, I have done absolutely nothing. I've watched the news and checked and sent a couple of emails but that's it. It's so nice to be able to relax.
Steff woke up at about 6:45 and wanted her bum changed and she surprisingly went back to sleep. I have to admit that I was pleasantly surprised when I went in to check on her and found her sleeping again. Now, I'm hoping she'll sleep another hour. I'm not counting on it though.
I am so excited for Christmas that this month is slow going. I have wrapped each and every gift as it has come in the door and I am bummed that there isn't more to wrap. I guess I could go over to my mother in-laws and do her wrapping for her...that's actually a really good idea. I think I'll see what Ryan thinks and call her and ask her if she's interested in the help. I helped her on Christmas Eve last year...maybe if I help her earlier, I can mostly relax on the Eve...? It's a win, win situation really. She gets her wrapping done for her and I get to feed my excitement.
Well, I have survey drawings to enter and Say needs her bum changed.

Steff Has Something Against Me

2007-12-10T14:54:00.000-07:00

I think my daughter has something against me. You see, she was a good girl all day yesterday and up until daddy walked out the door she was good today. I mean, literally, walked out the door. I was in the garage saying goodbye to him and he asked me to come back into the house and grab his magazine when I discover Steff had gone in to my room. Where Sadie was sleeping...She flipped on the light and rummaged through the things on Ryan's dresser before settling on a yo-yo to play with.
So, I got after her, layed Sadie back down, turned off the light, shut the door and went back out to finish saying goodbye to Ryan...
And, again, I had to run into the house for something for Ryan AND...she had pulled out my baby lilac bush...Right out of the potting soil! I had just planted it yesterday. So, I got after her again, replanted my bush and went back out to finish saying goodbye for the last time to Ryan.
I guess you're probably waiting for the next trick she had up her sleeve but I'm thinking aren't two tricks enough to realize this child has something against me?
I can't think of what made her start her two year old tricks as soon as Ryan walked out the door and why she remained an angel while he was home. I must be doing something wrong to deserve this mistreatment. If anyone knows why a child would treat one parent this way and not the other please feel free to comment. But, don't think it has anything to do with me being softer on the discipline because I'm the one that does most of that. We have wracked our brains coming up with ideas...Like, maybe she doesn't respect me as much, maybe I don't give her enough positive attention, she feels safe being a stinker around me, she is expressing her feelings that Ryan isn't home or has just left...these are the ideas we came up with and knowing which one, if any are the reason is complicated and possibly impossible...

She's SO...Confused

2007-12-10T09:41:00.000-07:00

So, Steff is a confused little child. Maybe this is the reason for her rebellion. Let me explain. She says the opposite of what she means...This morning I asked her if she wanted to go to "time out" and she said, "yes." Now we know, she doesn't mean that. What child in their right mind would volunteer for time out? Certainly not mine.
She also says she wants to "go outside" when she's standing on the front porch shivering. Again, you know she's already outside and she's freezing her little tail off and she simply wants to go "inside."
She does things like this all the time...That is why I believe she has every intention of being a good girl, she just gets so confused.

A Good Day Gone

2007-12-09T21:59:00.000-07:00

We had a great day today. It was nice and peaceful yet fun day. We had a nice docile morning and the girls were angels.
Then, it was the Christmas shopping we did that I mentioned earlier and then, Ryan put up the lights and we all took a nice, lazy, winter day nap.
The girls were good today and I'm feeling much more refreshed and ready for the next week. Ryan should be done with all the extra overtime he's been doing soon and life will return to normal and my kids won't drive me quite so crazy.
I went and helped my mother in-law put up her Christmas tree and do a little decorating. I also offered to clean her house for her. I love that woman so very much and she wasn't feelin well so helping her was the least I could do.
Right now, Ryan is reading Steff a bedtime story, Sadie is sound asleep and Kieran has gone off to bed.
Ryan was such a wonderful man earlier and made dinner while I was at his mom's. I felt bad that I wasn't home to make dinner but he's such a great help and I really do appreciate him.
I still can't believe that Steff didn't have any episodes with making mess and getting into trouble for the entire day. It must be a miracle...Tis' the season, I guess.
Kieran did go snowboarding and as usual he had a great time. I'm happy the season has started for him to be able to go and do that. I hope he gets to go more this year than he did last year. Not that last year he didn't go much, it's just that I would like him to go even more this year. It's good for him.
Sadie had another great day. She was her usual self and nothing really new to report. She did do quite a bit of babbling today(as I already said) and it never got old hearing her adorable little voice.
I am in a good place. We watched Christmas movies tonight and got the kids all excited for Christmas. Kieran said he was going to bed to dream about Christmas. I loved hearing that. I hope he does have a great night and Christmas dreams.

Ho Ho Ho!!!

2007-12-09T12:59:00.000-07:00

We went Christmas shopping and came up with 6 more gifts for Kieran. He's such a spoiled child. It's our fault our kids are monsters. They aren't always monsters but they have their moments just like all kids.
It was really nice to get out of the house and Steff was really good in the stores. She cooperated and sat down when she was directed to. Sadie was super tired and kept leaning her head forward to go to sleep. But, when we got home she only slept for a few minutes.
We've done festive things today, Ryan even put the Christmas lights on the house. He does such a great job at everything he does and the lights are no exception...
Steff hasn't done anything too rotten today. No spilled soda, dumped sugar or diapers flung all over the house...It's been a good day.
Sadie has been sort of emotional today but still very happy. She has been really babbling a lot today and as I've said before it's a treat.

Nice Morning

2007-12-09T09:52:00.000-07:00

It's been a nice morning. I woke up earlier than everyone and had some time to myself. Then, Sadie woke and I asked Ryan to get out of bed. The real shocker is that he did get out of bed and it didn't take me a half hour to get him up either.
Shortly thereafter Steff woke up and she was in a somewhat docile mood. It was nice to enjoy her after such a trying week.
Ryan and I came to a few conclusions with her...First, you cannot relax for one minute because that's when she gets into things. Second, you have to stay one step ahead of her and make sure she cannot reach things on the couter. After these somewhat frustrating revelations things have gotten harder and yet easier at the same time. Harder in the sense that you have more work to do, you cannot just let her play because she doesn't stay entertained long. Easier in the sense that by staying a step ahead of her you save yourself the grief of cleaning up the messes that she so regularly makes.
Sadie can say, "dada" but we aren't sure if she realizes she's actually saying someone's name. She was babbling quite a bit last night. She doesn't do that often so it was a real treat...
Steff got into the sugar and poored it all over her room, she got a half full soda off the counter and poured it on the kitchen floor, she also got a hold of the bread and pulled each and every piece out of the bag. These are just a few of the things that have become part of our moment to moment lives and hence, the reason we have to stay alert with her. And, the complete reason for our insanity.

Sledding

2007-12-08T16:47:00.000-07:00

We went sledding...Me, Ryan and Steff went sledding. We were going to take Kieran and Nick but they were impatient and thought we'd take too long because we were looking for our snow wear. So, they asked Nick's mom to take them.
We had gone and had a blast and we were on our way home and here comes Kieran and Nick. I will be picking them up in about 45 minutes. She took them so, we'll pick them up...
Now for the explanation of how our time was...We had a great time and Steff wanted to keep going down. She kept saying, "One more time." It was the cutest thing. She didn't even whine on the way up the hill and it was quite a walk...She just carried her own weight and walked up the hill. She absolutely loved it.
We are going back tomorrow...but we will be bringing Sadie this time. I know it's gonna be hard and Ryan and Steff will want to be die hards and go down a dozen times or so but it will be a family event and I can camcord more.
If anyone wants to see Ryan and Steff's adventures just come over and we'll plug in the video...

Starting His Own Blog

2007-12-08T09:13:00.000-07:00

So, Ryan said he's gonna start his own blog so he can counter act what I say. I think he's got a great idea but maybe just hearing his point of view on the life he lives in this family would be nice. I would certainly want to know what he thinks. He's got a completely different perspective than I do. For instance, he thinks Steff is absolutely adorable. And, I think she's a two year old turd. He thinks pretty much the same of Sadie as I do and I think we both agree on Kieran but I could be wrong. . .We both lead different lives and he's not home much so he appreciates the little things around the house more than I do...I should appreciate them because one day they will be gone but none-the-less, I'm pretty sure he appreciates them more.
I would really like if Ryan would come on my blog and chat about things but he's not sure he wants the whole world to know what he's thinking. I can't blame him, I've seen some trouble from being frank and honest with what I'm thinking and feeling.

Peaceful So Far

2007-12-07T07:43:00.000-07:00

It's been a peaceful morning so far.
Kieran got up with his alarm and got ready for school without a peep from me. I can't even tell you what shirt he had on because he was in his coat before I even noticed his was up...
Sadie has been sorta ornery this morning and I can't be sure why. She has been more whiny than she normally is. It might be because she didn't sleep in enough.
Steff is mellow, for now. I'm sure the drama will ensue soon though. I have a confession to make. I hate this stage Steff is going through. She gets into everything and makes messes on purpose. I really could use a break from her.
Oh...well, that's what mother's do-deal with the garbage in hopes that the rewards later are great.

They Need Cages

2007-12-06T19:12:00.000-07:00

They need cages....yes, my children are animals. All three of 'em. Sadie's even being a stinker. She's been following Kieran and Steff around while they run around like little chickens with their heads cut off and standing up at the television every chance she gets.
It's a good thing I love my kids or I'd have no hair left. Sanity is overrated. I couldn't think of anything else to do to be able to deal with them so here I am...I figured if I blogged about the insanity of it it wouldn't drive me so crazy. I don't think it's working...
Right now isn't so bad though. Kieran and Steff are on opposite sides of the room and watching the Berenstain Bears so they are being good. Sadie is getting a bottle and she'll be nice and quiet in a few seconds. Ahh...it's nice when it's like this and everyone gets along.
I really do love my children, they, and their daddy are my life. I don't know what I'd do with out each one of them. They all add something to my life that I otherwise wouldn't have. Kieran gives me the refreshing remembrance of what it's like to be a kid. Steff keeps me on my toes. And, Sadie is the peace and quiet that calms me in the middle of it all. Ryan is everything. He's always been a breath of fresh air to me. He keeps me the most grounded with his sensibility and his wisdom.
What else can I say? I just pure and simply love my family.

She's Driving Me Crazy but Who is She?

2007-12-06T16:16:00.000-07:00

I have one very spirited child and she is driving me crazy!!! I can't keep up with her near fast enough. She goes and goes and then screams when it's time to call it a day. I can't even think about giving her a nap because then she stays up til around 11pm. And, by 9 I need a break from the wear and tear of my three children. I certainly don't need one of them lingering about...
I'm sure you've already guessed which one of my children is driving me over the brink of sanity...but, just for clarity, it's Steffanie.
To give you some of her antics as an idea of why she's making me nuts...here they are...she keeps telling me she's hungry but she will only take a couple of bites of things and then it's, "yuck."
She pulls all the diapers out of their basket and she doesn't just dump it out, she flings them all over the living room. By the time she's done they are on top of everything and behind everything...
She goes into her room and dumps out her toy box and pulls it around the house and plays in it. Then she gets mad when it's too big to fit through a door way.
She keeps telling me she wants to watch Nemo, or Vegetales or Cinderella but 10 minutes after I put it on she's crying to watch Sprout and then she cries to watch Caillou.

My mom is driving me equally crazy...She didn't save enough money from her paycheck to buy her cholesterol medication and then when I give her some of the money she gave me to save for her, she goes shopping with it. She is so irresponsible...
Last night we were talking and she was telling me that she wasn't going to go over to Danny's until Saturday because she plans on helping me with the kids Saturday afternoon while Ryan works. But, instead of asking me to take her to Danny's, she says "I'll have you take me" like I'm just here to give her a ride where ever she wants to go. I corrected her and said "you mean, ask me."
Ryan thinks that she believes I owe her something and that she truly thinks that I am just here to give her rides every where she wants to go. He doesn't like my mother much so I take everything he says with a grain of salt. I do think he has some truth to what he believes though...

Pizza for Breakfast

2007-12-06T13:31:00.000-07:00

SO I'm a horrible mother, I gave my daughter a pizza pocket for breakfast. I don't really know if that qualifies me as a bad mom or if that just means I gave her what I knew she would eat. She was asking for breakfast and saying she wanted a pizza pocket. What's a mom to do?
Sadie has been her usual self this morning...Playing and crawling around. Maybe today she'll do something exciting and I can blog about it later??? She's just such a good little girl...Last year at this time we were dealing with a colicky newborn so this really is a treat. Christmas will be much more pleasant with her being a happy baby.
I am still so excited for Christmas. I am excited for the stocking stuffers right now but that's all Santa has been able to take care of so far. I want to fill them and see everyone's faces when they get their goodies.
So, far this morning we've started watching Caillou. The whiny four year old, that I cannot stand...I made a mistake and Steff has now discovered that I can play certain shows whenever she wants. I discovered the "On Demand" button and she loves to watch Caillou, Berenstain Bears and Jakers...Over, and over and over...again and again. We've seen all the episodes they have available a number of times. But, I read somewhere that kids, especially Steff's age like the comfort of repetition. I wish they liked new things...of course, it is nice being able to put the same thing on and know that she will be content instead of having to find something new each time she wants to watch a movie. So, yeah, I can't make up my mind which is worse...

I Have Gotten Christmas Cards

2007-12-05T11:12:00.000-07:00

As you can see from the headline, I have received Christmas cards and it's only the 5th...I have 3 so far, so maybe we'll pass up the usual 5 we get each year. I hope so, I'm thinking sending out a total of 56 cards and getting 5 in return isn't great odds. It's not like they don't have our address and therefore can't send one. So, what's the deal? I'm just kidding...I don't send them to get them. I send them so those people in our lives that don't have the chance to hear the details can get a greeting and an overview of our year.

The kids were stinkers last night. With Steff and Kieran pestering each other and Sadie chasing them all over the house. It was a crazy night and bedtime came early.
Bedtime....the dreaded time of the day with Steff....She screams. Oh...does she scream. I can't figure her out...She wants me to read a bedtime story...so, I do and all heck breaks loose when I'm done. I have to tell her to get back to bed 10 or so times and I have to chase her back into her room a good 5 times before she settles on the floor in the hallway, right in front of her door or she'll cop a squat in the kitchen. Which is right next to her bedroom. I wish the bedtime routine with her would go back to being easy like it was a couple of months ago...

Sadie does the sign for "no," it's the cutest thing. She doesn't do it exactly right but each time she stands up to the tv, we call her name, she turns and looks and does the sign for no. She knows what she is doing is a no-no but she's a kid so she has to test her limits...Other than that little trick she's an angel. I don't know what else to say, it seems like there's never anything to say about her because she's always so good. I feel like all I say is that she wandered around and played....

Kieran was off his meds for a few days and boy did my mom and I notice a difference in his attitude. He was much more agitated than he usually is and he was also more mouthy. I thought I was gonna lose it with him, but, I kept telling myself that this isn't how he usually is and that he'd be back to normal soon. He even managed to get a pink slip for throwing a snow ball at school.
Do you believe that? He got a major disciplinary action for throwing a stinking snow ball...I didn't have much to say in the way of discipline from my point of view because I thought it was absolutely ridiculous. I did tell him that just because someone throws one at him doesn't mean he needs to throw one back. He apparently got the point because the next day at school another girl threw one at him and he just ignored her and didn't send one back at her. I'm glad he got the idea and understood the consequences aren't worth the action but I still think getting in major trouble over it was stupid.
It's not just the snowball thing with his school. They can't even ride their bikes to school anymore. I can understand no scooters or rollerblades, but bikes? How dumb is that? Rules in schools have gotten a little on the extreme side and they are robbing our kids of their innocence and youth. It's no wonder they figure out what sex and drugs are earlier, there's nothing else for them to do. They have to use their imagination and unfortunately, Satan prays on the imagination a lot.

I read something one time that was cool. "Even Satan believes in God." How's that for an eye opener? I also like the one that says, "If you're livin like there ain't no God, you'd better be right." Is is really so horrible to believe in something that brings hope, peace and joy to our lives? That's my question for all the atheists in the world. Why not? What is it going to hurt? If you're wrong at least you lived your life like a person with love and compassion and people will remember that about you. If you're wrong, then so what...? You're not going to go to hell if there is no heaven...
I'll get off my religious soap box now...

Back to my life. This morning has been a challenge, Steff has been into the toilet, the bread, the crackers and the left over soda on the counter. As you can imagine, she made a mess with all of them. The worst so far is the soda she spilled on the kitchen floor that now works like glue to anything that comes in contact with it. And, I can't get it to clean up and stop being sticky.
Oh...and then there's the lotion, the lotion I used to like the smell of until, my two and half year old got into it so much that now it stinks to me. It actually makes me nauseous and gives me a headache when I smell it. I need to just throw it out and get rid of the problem all together.

Ryan is so hard to wake up. I am so sick of trying to get him out of bed. I have been trying to get him out of bed for 15 minutes now and I don't see the end of this battle. His mom says he's always been this way but I think he uses that as an excuse to stay in bed as long as he possibly can. I dread getting him up. I'd just as soon let him sleep his day away. Then maybe he'd learn to get out of bed the first time I came in to get him...I doubt it because I've tried it and all he does is call himself a POS and yet continue the action that makes him feel that way. And, he says I'm insane because I don't learn from my mistakes...sounds like he has the same insanity issue...I guess I'll go try a few more times and then try to get the sticky spot off my kitchen floor...

Time Alone

2007-12-04T07:51:00.001-07:00

I love it when this happens...when I get time all to myself. Right now, Kieran has gone off to school and the girls are still asleep. I have time alone. It doesn't happen often and I have to say, when it does, I sure appreciate it more than if it did happen more. And, I thought yesterday was a good morning because Steff slept in and Sadie was quietly playing on the floor. Today's an even better treat.

Today is grocery day...Yuck!!! I really don't like grocery day, it's exhausting. After spending and hour and half searching for what we need, we have to come home and spend another 30 minutes putting the stuff in its proper place. Yeah, I have to say, "I hate it." Not only does it take a nice chunk of my otherwise lazy day, it also wears me out. I get so tired for some unknown reason. I know it's not just me though because Ryan says it wears him out too.
Another icky thing about grocery day is that it takes away from Ryan's time to spend with me and the girls. Yeah, we are technically spending time together but it's not quality time, if you ask me.

I know I said I'm enjoying this time alone but honestly, I feel like going back to bed for another hours or so. You see, Sadie woke me up at 6 because she wanted a bottle. So, I figured she was gonna get up and thus, I got up. That was two hours ago...She's still not up and here I am blogging and boring you to death.

Nothing new has been going on with my family. No exciting news to type about...I just kinda write about the boring stuff of each day or the random thoughts in my head. I'm not saying that I wish something exciting would happen, because usually exciting things are also tragic things. I'm just saying, "sorry for boring everyone to tears..." and that I wish something cool would happen, like Sadie walking or something like that.

Ryan is finally getting excited for Christmas. He's such a Scrooge...It really bums me out and it's really irritating, I don't particularly like hearing him say he hates Christmas. And, I told him my feelings last night. I explained that it's not fair for him to hate something and to make it very clear to those of us who love the season and the holiday. It's just not fair. It can be very hurtful when your feeling all giddy and can't wait and he states how bad he hates Christmas. It's a real downer.
I asked him why he hates Christmas...His reason? Money...It's always about money. He always hates anything that costs him money. Hell, he doesn't even take me out on dates because it costs money. His idea of a date is a steak and a rented dvd from Redbox, where it only costs a dollar...Well, I hate to tell him but I am home allll....day long and once in a while it would be nice to get out and away from the kids. I wouldn't mind if he took me into McDonalds for a happy meal, just get me out of this house once in a while.
Yes, I have told him this but for some reason he says we'll do things like this more and yet, we never do. I'm getting sick of not feeling important enough to spend the time and money and energy to get me out of the house.
I think for Christmas I'll just ask for a date night. Then it won't cost him money right away and he can just give me a piece of paper that states he owes me one date night. I think that's an excellent idea. And, maybe, just maybe I'll actually get to go on a date with my husband...whom I adore and find very nice to be around.

Well, that's all the "stuff" I have to whine about and blog about for now. My children will most likely do something that warrants a blog...but they're still not up...

I Love Mornings Like This

2007-12-03T08:28:00.000-07:00

This is the kind of morning I love to have. It's just me and Sadie. Kieran has gone off to school and Steff is still sleeping.
Sadie is over playing with some toys and being very good. As if there is any other way she really ever is....I've been watching the news and checking email and now, blogging.
The reason I love mornings like this is because they are so relaxing. Having just Sadie up makes it easy to relax. Once Steff gets up I will be running around do this, that, and the other thing. She's kind of a demanding and strong willed child.
For the past two mornings Steff didn't get up until 10:30, I'm hoping for another day like that. Once she gets up, Sadie goes down for her nap and that makes it nice to just spend time with each of them, alone. I feel like a good mom when I have a chance to devote all my time and energy with one at a time.

I'm still really excited for Christmas and Santa got all the stocking stuffers for our stockings so he can't wait to fill them. He hasn't gotten our big gifts yet but he made a call to me and let me know that I should let Kieran know he has all the stuffers and that he's gonna be getting the big stuff soon and to let him know he still needs to be a good kid.

I remember last year, we would wrap a gift every couple days and place it under the tree before Kieran got home from school. He liked coming home and seeing new gifts and it helped him be on his best behavior for his teacher. She said it was the easiest month she ever had with him.

Speaking of Kieran's former teacher...I spoke with her a couple months ago and she made it clear that the reason Kieran has male teacher was because she and the school counselor had a say in which teacher he got. I told her they made a good choice and that he is having an excellent year.

As you've probably already figured out, I have had a few cups of coffee. I think I'm gonna go play with more Christmas stuff...

And, She Cleans

2007-12-02T18:58:00.000-07:00

I actually broke down and cleaned most of my house. I know, it's a miracle...Hey, the kids were entertained and I had a burst of energy, what else can I say?
I know I said it's been a lazy day but I went and visited with my mom for about an hour and when I came home I felt nice and refreshed...Of course, I stopped at Starbucks and got Ryan and I our favorite coffee, so that was a nice treat to my energy level.
My mom was over at Danny's house, and has been since Friday night.
We're hoping she'll move in soon...
I doubt it though, that would make our house allllll ours and a dream come true...Her car wouldn't be parked on the side of our house any longer, we'd have a nice living room, a room for the computers, and a family room. Oh...we can't wait for that day...

The kids are being pretty good. Sadie is in her jumper, jumping away, Kieran and Steff are playing together nicely and Ryan is on his computer playing a video game and getting some time away from it all...

I am sincerely proud of myself for cleaning my house. All I have left to do is touch up the bathroom and vacuum...Not much left to do and where am I? Blogging....
I guess I better go get on the cleaning thing again and get it over with....

Lazy Days

2007-12-02T14:45:00.000-07:00

It's another lazy day. I expect it from Ryan, he works a lot. But, me. It's another story. I shouldn't be sitting around, I should be doing wife and motherly stuff. Why? I don't know for sure, other than I'm not suppost to have any days off.

Steff in the Snow

2007-12-01T17:46:00.000-07:00

Here are a couple pictures of Steff and Steff with Ryan out in the snow. This is her first adventure in the snow this year. I'm sure there will be many more days and nights of this.

Enjoyed Wrapping Gifts

2007-12-01T12:53:00.000-07:00

Well, I wrapped Christmas presents and listened to Christmas music but I'm bored now. I guess I could clean my house but who wants to do that? I know it wouldn't take much since there isn't a whole lot that still needs to be done. Ryan and I did a quick pick up and vacuum job last night before bed. That always helps when it's time to really get down and dirty. Really, the only things that need to be done are the bathroom and the kitchen floor needs to be mopped.
I am home with my kids all by myself today and surprisingly, it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. Of course, Steff didn't get up until 10:30 and Sadie took a 2 hour nap.
I don't know how it happened but I was able to get Sadie down for her nap before Steff got up and Kieran was outside playing-So, I had about an hour and half of peace and quiet. If I were smart I would have taken a shower, since those are always delayed and interrupted. I didn't though, I figured I took a bath yesterday and I haven't done anything to get dirty.
I am feeling like a nap would be nice but I'm not even hoping that's going to happen. Especially since Steff slept so late and Sadie has already taken one.
Steff is full of it today. While I was out in the garage getting the gifts I was going to wrap she got into my plant's dirt, again and then she took her soup and spilled it all over the couch. I thank my mother in-law each and every time something gets spilled...Why? She bought me a slip cover for Christmas a couple years ago and it has really saved our couch from many things.
Sadie is being her normal self right now. She's just sittin on the floor playing with a book she got for her birthday and watching a little tv here and there. Sometimes I wish all my kids were as mellow and content as she is, then there are times when I'm glad they are all different in personality. It sure keeps me busy and life interesting.
Ryan will be home soon but he's planning on going back in once the kids are in bed. I hate that he has to go back into work. He's getting so burned out and he is really looking forward to being off work the week of Christmas. I am looking forward to it too. We were talking about redoing our dinning room that week. I asked for paint for Christmas, of course I've asked for a lot of things, or I should say, I've given Ryan a lot of ideas of what he can get me.
I think I'm going to go and finish my house and hang out with my daughters for a little while.

Getting Excited for Christmas

2007-12-01T11:55:00.000-07:00

I am getting so excited for Christmas but I feel bad too. You see, it looks like we won't be able to afford for Ryan to go to Oakland after all. It's either he goes, or we buy Christmas gifts for the kids and well, he said it's no contest. He would rather buy the kids Christmas. He's such a good daddy.
I think the reason I'm feeling so festive is because I bought some gifts yesterday and it's been snowing since last night. I love the snow and it's always gotten me in the Christmas mood.
I remember singing "I'm Dreaming of A White Christmas" when I was a kid and that song always made me feel the Christmas mood.
I think after I'm done blogging I'm going to go wrap gifts, that always helps me feel productive and it's nice to load up underneath the tree with gifts too.
Right now Ryan is off to work-again, Kieran has left to go to his Grams, Steff is eating chicken noodle soup and Sadie is standing at the gate chatting me up.
I think I'm gonna go wrap gifts and put on some Christmas music...

Dad's Birthday

2007-12-01T11:33:00.001-07:00

Well, Dad wasn't as excited about his birthday gift as I thought he would be but I can't be sure if it's because he didn't know the details or if it just needed to sink in a little more. You see, all 7 of us kids got him a ticket to I Fly, which he's been wanting to do for quite a while. We all chipped in and got him the second most expensive one and it has about 4 minutes of fly time, plus he gets a video of his flight and a t-shirt.
It should be fun and I'm sure he appreciated it and that he'll enjoy it too. His party was fun and we saw family members that we don't get to see all too often, so that was good.
He got some cool things for his birthday but I still think the I Fly was the best.
He was so cute when he saw all the people at his party...he almost started crying.

Another Day at The Zoo

2007-11-29T20:22:00.000-07:00

Today was, as you guessed, another day at the zoo. My son was gone to school for most of the day so he was the least of my concerns. That is, until he came home...I advised him to be quiet because his sisters were asleep and what does he do? He goes outside, stands by my bedroom window, where Sadie is asleep and screams like a girl. Then he takes a Pringles empty canister and proceeds to bang on the porch railing. I wanted to kick his little butt up around his ears. He did all this in the first five minutes that he was home.
Steff has been on an interesting kick today. It consists of something like this...screaming and crying. She has whined for everything she has wanted today. The only moment of peace I got was while she was asleep and that was only for about and hour and a half. Other than that she was in a crabby mood the minute she woke up this morning. I have to admit that her mood has become better and better throughout the day though. Bed time should be soon and that's the moment I look forward to.
Oh, I was gonna post an update about how she was to put to bed last night...she fell asleep well, however, it was in the hallway-again. When I went to put her in her bed she freaked out!!! She started screaming like I was hurting her. I just walked away and ignored her. She fell asleep shortly thereafter.
Sadie has been Sadie today. She was a little ornery when she first got up this morning but I think that was because she was still tired and just wanted to go back to bed. I have a reason for my thoughts on this, she fell asleep in my arms while laying on the couch with me. I put her in bed and she slept for another couple of hours. Other than that glitch in her behavior she was in a great mood all day.

I Live at The Zoo

2007-11-28T20:08:00.000-07:00

My children are animals or at least they were tonight. Kieran and Steff kept running around the house playing tag and Sadie kept crawling all over really fast and shaking her head up and down...kinda like she'd listened to too much of Ryan's music.
It was all quite funny but it strangely reminded me of a bunch of wild monkeys at the zoo. I honestly felt like I was living in a zoo.
I like it when my kids are full of spunk and get along. Of course, they need to get along or it's not cute at all.
Sadie is in bed and Steff is sitting on my mom's lap and Kieran is chillin on the couch and we are all watching the Berenstein Bears. It's nice and quiet and I couldn't be more happy for the down time.
Okay, so it's not that quiet...Steff is banging this plastic thing against the tv tray in front of her. She's annoying the pants off my mom and Kieran and I think it's still much quieter than it was so this is still bliss to me.
I wonder what tonight is going to be like when I try to put Steff to bed? I dread putting her to bed. She usually throws a wicked fit and wakes Sadie up. Then to top it off, falls asleep in the hallway. I had to move her last night and much to my surprise she actually cooperated. I almost didn't believe she was going for the transfer. I kept waiting for her to wake up and scream some more but she didn't....I hope tonight is that easy...I am thinking positive thoughts that it will be...I think I'd better say a nice, long prayer just to be safe...

2007-11-28T14:48:00.000-07:00

Steffanie got into my plant's dirt again. Grrr...I get so sick of cleaning up potting soil. I have to clean the window sill, the floor, the hardwood and her hands...It's like she just doesn't get it. We have tried every kind of discipline to get her to stay out of the plants but nothing works. She just likes dirt and playing in it too much. I can't figure out what to do. If anyone has any ideas on how to keep this strong willed child out of my plants, I'm open to any ideas...
It's funny that I can read all sorts of books on household tips and tricks but they don't make any books that give you tips and tricks on children...No one thing works for two different children.

Spending The Night With Ryan

2007-11-28T08:29:00.000-07:00

I was able to spend about 1 and 1/2 hours with Ryan last night. So, the headline is a little misleading...we only spent a little time together but it was nice. All we did was sit and watch the news together but we rarely have time alone together so it was a special treat. We cuddled and just all out enjoyed each other.
He needed to get to bed and I was wide awake so we kissed and I tucked him into bed and I went back into the living room and watched some more news.
I eventually fell asleep and didn't wake up until Steff was in my face telling me she wanted to watch Sprout. It was a nice rest for me and I think it's because I really enjoyed spending that short amount of time with Ryan...
Steff has been 50/50 with being whiny and not this morning. I have been using negotiation skills to stop her from whining and they seem to be working well.
The newest thing she does that drives us all nuts is asking to watch a DVD and then saying she wants to watch Sprout and then switching back to wanting a DVD and back again to Sprout. It takes 10 minutes of switching the tv back and forth to finally get her to decide what she wants. It's maddening...
Sadie has been a cutie this morning. She's just been crawling around, following her sister and playing with whatever toy she comes across in her journeys...
She is so cute, sometimes she will just sit and watch the tv for a few minutes. It's so cute to see her sitting there with her little legs crossed, watching the television...
Oh, she always crosses her legs when she is sitting. It's so cute and makes her daddy happy that she's such a little lady...
Kieran wore his snow pants to school today. I had to remind him to wear a pair of jeans underneath them though, cuz I'm sure he would have just wore them if I hadn't said anything. The funniest part is that we only got about 2 inches of snow...He's such a kid. I'm not complaining about him being a kid, I'm just saying it's funny how kids think....
Ryan crashed his machine at work last night so when he got home he really needed some TLC from me. I can't say I blame him for feeling that way. I know when I'm having a bad day it always feels nice to have him hold me and show me he loves me. The world just seems to go away when I'm in his arms and I'm sure it's the same for him...

Household tips for today...
1. Disposable Diapers: Keep a plant watered longer...before potting a plant, place a clean disposable diaper in the bottom of the flowerpot-absorbent side up. It will absorb the water that would otherwise leak out the bottom and it will keep you plant from drying out too fast. Plus, you'll have to water less....
2. Duct Tape: Hang glue and/or caulk tubes...Cut a strip of tape, several inches long, fold it over the bottom of each tube, leaving a flap at the end. Punch a hole in the flap with a paper hole punch and hang the tube on a nail or hook.
3. Aluminum Foil: Sharpen your scissors....Fold a piece of foil into several layers and start cutting. 7 or 8 passes through the foil should do it.
4. Aluminum Foil: Clean your iron...just run your starch ridden iron over aluminum foil several times...make sure your iron is hot though.
5. Aluminum Foil: Use as a heat reflector for ironing boards...just place the foil along the length of your ironing board(shinny side up)and underneath the cover and it will reflect the heat back up and cut your ironing time.
6. And, the coffee related tip of the day...Fertilize plants...use used coffee grounds in the soil around plants. They have nutrients that acidic plants love-ie. rosebushes, azaleas, rhododendrons, evergreens and camellias.
And, as an added tip to #6...Grounds from drip coffee makers are better than those that have been boiled in a percolator because the grounds are richer in nitrogen.
I tried #6 over this last year and it worked really well for my roses...
I haven't tried any of the others but I just read about these tips and tricks so I will be trying them soon...I'll report back on their effectiveness too or you can report to me if you've tried them and what your results were... tkelstrom@comcast.net .

When is it Abuse?

2007-11-27T21:21:00.000-07:00

When is it considered abuse? I mean does it matter if it's your one child abusing your other one? You see, tonight Steff had it out for Sadie...Sadie ended up with a bruise on each cheek, they are in different spots on each side so they weren't from the same episode.
This is what I know...One minute Steff is in the kitchen doing whatever and trying to wake up from her nap...which she actually was half way in the kitchen and half way in the hallway when she fell asleep and I, being such a wonderful mother, left her there for the entirety of her nap. I figured she was taking one so leave her alone...She doesn't transfer well at all, so, if I had tried to move her, she would have woke up and stayed awake...
Anyway, Sadie crawled into the kitchen and apparently she got too close to Steff because when I came in, after hearing Sadie start to cry, I found Steff down the hallway, hiding from getting in trouble and Sadie smack dab on the right side of her face...
Later, the story is kind of the same, they were in the kitchen again and Sadie started crying and Steff ran off to hide. This time I'm really not sure what happened since Sadie was just sitting there crying and Steff took off to hide...I know one thing though, Sadie ended up with a bruise on the other side of her face. Kieran said Steff hit Sadie but that's all the information I got out of him...
I just had a revelation or two...Steff always hides when she hurts Sadie...and, 90% of the assaults happen in the kitchen...
I know I'm in for much more of this and that's something I've come to terms with but I'd hate to get in trouble for something my kids do to each other...

He Got 100%!

2007-11-27T19:27:00.000-07:00

I almost forgot to share the great news. Kieran did a state report on the state of Oregon. He did an excellent job. His Gram helped him print all sorts of neat facts and information and then they glued each piece of info onto a black piece of paper and made it look great...Well, the great news is that he got 100%!!! He worked so hard on this report that I am very happy for him...He really deserved the grade and as I said, we are so proud of him....

Limited Connection

2007-11-27T17:57:00.000-07:00

This has been a frustrating day with the internet. I have been trying to get our computers to reconnect to the internet virtually all day. Ryan seems to believe our router is going out and that we need a new one. It only works about 1/3 of the time now-a-days. It is really a pain, because I'll be typing a blog and it will go down. I am hoping this one will work...

The kids have been good, Kieran is being a turd and blowing a party blower. Even Steff is telling him to "shush." I have asked him to stop but to no avail...So, I'll just take it away. I warned him that if he doesn't quit being a stinker, he's going to his room for the night.

Steff is just waking up from a nap and she's in a surprisingly good mood. I like it when she wakes up in a good mood. She didn't wake up this morning in a very good mood though. Of course, she woke up at 5 something and wouldn't go back to bed. So, she eventually crashed on the floor until 9 or so this morning.

Sadie has been cute today. She's been zipping all over the house in a speed crawl. I love it when she does her speed crawl, it's hilarious...She has been as mellow and cute as she usually is.

I talked to my Oma last night. She is doing as good as she always is...she's still depressing to talk to. She talks about how lonely she is a lot and how her husband won't give her a divorce. I wish she didn't feel so alone but she lived close to all of us and moved back to Oklahoma anyway. She wasn't alone when she was here.

Well, to end this blog I've got a household tip...to clean a coffee maker, use 2 to 4 Alkaseltzer tablets and water with a little vinegar in it...It works better than anything I've tried in the past...Of course, my tip had to be about coffee. You know how I love my coffee...Speaking of coffee, I just brewed a fresh pot and it sounds so good...

Up Early Today

2007-11-26T07:57:00.000-07:00

So, I woke up at 3am with another headache but, I think I've isolated what is causing them...medication. I think it's a medication that I'm on. It's a new one so it only makes sense. I will just have to talk to the doc and see if there is maybe a different one of the same type that I can try. No big deal, well, other than the wretched headaches that is.

Sadie and Steff got up ungodly early this morning...Sadie woke up at 5:15 and she was in a crabby mood so her crying woke Steff up at 5:45. I really didn't want to start my day that early but as a mom, you do what you have to do...Right?

Kieran will be walking to school with Nick for the rest of the year. I couldn't be more excited about it either. You see, this means I no longer have to drive him each morning. I know it's not smart or safe for him to walk alone, that's why I used to give him a ride each morning. I will still give them rides when the weather is a wreck or when the temperature drops out the bottom.

The girls may have gotten up early but they both fell asleep early too. Sadie went back down at about 7:45am and Steff went down around 6:30. Steff slept until 10:30ish and Sadie is still asleep. All this is fine with me since they got up so darn early.

I'm hoping Sadie sleeps for another half hour because that's when I'll be going in to wake Ryan up. I think he finally went to bed at about 4 or 4:30 this morning. So, he deserves to sleep until at least 11 or 11:30. I don't really like that he goes to bed so late but I still think he should get about 7 hours of sleep. I know he appreciates it too.

I think Sadie is starting to wake up...I heard a little fussing coming from our bedroom. I was hoping she'd sleep another 10 minutes but I don't think that's going to happen...

Heaven's to Betsy's I am feeling tired still...I could go back to sleep before my head even hit the pillow...I will have to tell Ryan of my early morning adventures and see if he takes any pity on me and lets me go take a nap...

Steff has had a runny nose for the last week and she was complaining of a loose tooth. I have a feeling she's getting her two year molars. I guess we'll see though...

And, I Was Worried About Sadie

2007-11-25T15:06:00.000-07:00

I don't know what I was thinking but I went over and layed on the floor to play with Sadie and relax while the girls watched a movie. Well, Steff-not Sadie-had a better idea and she un-decorated 1/3 of the tree. All right under my nose. I don't know how I missed what she was doing but I did. I just thought she was in her bedroom playing. I was so wrong...

The funniest part was that I was worried about Sadie tearing the ornaments off the tree when it was ultimately Steff that did it.

I was so mad. I was mad at Steff and Ryan. Steff because she removed so many ornaments and played with the decorative beads and Ryan because he put the gate in a place that I couldn't get to it and thus there was no gate around the tree when it fell victim to Steff...

No fear though, the tree is redecorated and the beads are put back in place. It has one spot that needs fixin' but other than that it looks good...See?

I also already have 3 gifts under it...One for each of my children...

Ho Ho Ho!!!

2007-11-25T13:20:00.000-07:00

I, with the help of Ryan and my mom, have successfully put up our Christmas Tree...I'm so excited for Christmas this year. If you can't tell...
I have finished my Christmas cards and I did it all before Halloween was even over yet. I know I've blogged about my card adventures before but I figured it was worthy of addressing again. I feel very proud of myself for getting them done so soon.
I was hoping this year we wouldn't have to put a big gate around the tree but Sadie is still too young to try that act. She has already gone after it a few times and almost succeeded in pulling it over. Even if it wasn't a big deal to have her going after the ornaments I still worry about her getting hurt by pulling it over.
Ya know what I just noticed??? I haven't seen any Christmas tree lots...Usually you see them on Thanksgiving and they pop up everywhere but I haven't seen a single one. We use an artificial tree, that's how we got ours up so soon but still...I haven't seen any lots. That's kinda weird if you ask me.
I feel a little bad that I broke the family tradition of putting up the tree on my mom's birthday but she said she didn't mind and that she would put up her three little trees if she needed to do one on her birthday. I hope she doesn't get all depressed since I wanted the tree up so early?

Whew, What a Morning

2007-11-25T07:20:00.000-07:00

This morning is turning out to be a challenge...Steff is in a mood again for the second morning in a row and I have a headache to boot.
I actually woke up at 4am with a migraine. I haven't had one of those for a while and I remembered why I hate them. I don't usually use the word, "hate" but this time it called for it.
As I said, Steff is in a "mood," she keeps whining about every little thing. I even had to take hot dogs out of the freezer and tell her that she could have some for lunch because they were frozen. She wanted them "right now" though and she threw a fit over it. All this drama over hot dogs started with a show that she was watching, in which they had hot dogs. I love the things she learns from television but I don't like it when she gets something stuck in her head because there is no getting her past it. She just doesn't "forget" things.
Sadie is being a sweet heart this morning, she is being cute and fun too. She just crawls around and plays with whatever is in reach. Right now she is playing with an extra package of wipes and of course, diapers. She is so funny because she will get into the diaper baskets and pull all the diapers out. Then she proceeds to chew on them. I actually had a diaper one morning that had a big hole in the bum area from her chewing on it. It was funny, when I went to change her I finally realized that she had chewed a hole into the bum area. I had to laugh. . .

"Just Ten More Minutes"

2007-11-24T08:25:00.000-07:00

What good does "ten more minutes" do when you're sleeping. This is the question I will be asking for a long time...You see when ever I wake Ryan up he always asks for ten more minutes. I can't figure out what ten minutes does. Does it really make that much of a difference?

Uhhh...This Morning

2007-11-24T07:36:00.000-07:00

Uhhh...This morning is turning out to be a challenge. I can't be sure what has gotten into her but, Steff is crabby. She keeps whining about this and that. It's honestly driving me crazy...
Sadie is being pleasant this morning so having 1 out of 2 up being good, isn't bad odds.
I wish I felt inspired to blog but I don't.
The only thing I feel inspired to do is..drink coffee. Lots of it, I'm sure draggin' this morning. No particular reason for the dragging but I am and I wish I could solve it...or get rid of the feeling of just dragging...
Sadie is standing at the puter gate and soon she'll be pooping. We have a morning routine and it consists of something like this: Sadie gets up and I make her a fresh bottle. She drinks her bottle and I go out and smoke...I come in, lay on the sofa and she comes over and poops...I change her and she goes about playing. I turn on my computer and get on it, she comes over to the gate and poops again...Every morning it's the same thing. It never fails, she always poops twice...and, always at the same places. It's actually all quite funny.
I know I said I wouldn't blog about pain anymore but wow, do I feel stiff this morning. I wouldn't say it's a bad day because I felt stiff yesterday too and it wore off about mid-day. I'm hoping for the same thing today. I feel stiff everywhere too. Even my fingers aren't dancing across the keys like I'd like. I can't even pop my neck and that's always possible.
I won't let this garbage consume me though, especially not today, Ryan is going to go in to work. I have to do this virtually by myself. My mom is still at her friend's house and I have no idea when she'll be home and if she'll be of any help.
Speaking of my mother...she is driving me crazy and driving my Jeep all over. You see, she hasn't registered her car. She keeps making excuses why she can't afford it and instead of saving her money so she can afford it, she spends it. She's like taking care of a teenager. She's about as responsible as one. I know, that's not saying much about her but sometimes I wish she'd just "grow up," I get so sick of taking care of things for her.
She will even make a phone call to me to ask me to make a call to her doctor to make her an appointment. Instead of just using her call for calling the doctor. She does crap like this all the time.
I have to give her props though, she does help me when I'm not feeling good. I know she thinks she's doing a good job because honestly, I don't have what it takes to tell her to "grow up."
All in all, she drives me crazy though.
Her latest trick is to use my Jeep whenever she feels like it. Ryan is going mad over the whole thing. I am starting to go crazy too actually. She has gotten to the point where she just assumes that I will run her here or there or that she can just "take" our Jeep. The real kicker...she doesn't even put gas in it. She drives it and doesn't even put any of what she uses back in. And, she's not just running up the street, she's usually running across town. Oh...it drives me nuts.
Oh...I could go on and on with the things she does but then I'll just be fired up and ready to rip her head off when I see her and that's not a good feeling.

Sadie is pestering Steff and it's funny. Turn about's fair play...Steff was just telling Sadie to "shoo, shoo" as if she was a bug and needed to go away.
Not much to blog about this morning...I'm sure I'll be back with more...

No Black Friday for Us

2007-11-23T07:20:00.001-07:00

We decided, with the help of our finances, to stay home on this Black Friday. We really couldn't have gone out anyway. My mom, and hence my babysitter, stayed at a friends house last night so she wasn't home to help take care of the girls when they awoke this morning and, I have a strong feeling about how waking your children to go shopping is completely wrong. I don't care if other's do it but I won't...
I feel like I have to defend my parenting after some of the accusations that have been sent my way. I'm actually quite irritated that my parenting has been put under fire. I know I addressed this yesterday in my blog but I still feel pretty sick that my parenting was even questioned.
Oh...well, can't make everyone happy all the time.
Yesterday turned out to be a good day. Ryan and I both felt that it just didn't have that "Thanksgiving" feel...Neither one of us could be sure why but we just didn't feel that it was Thanksgiving. It was just like going to mom's for dinner. It was still a great day of family and the feeling was wonderful but it just wasn't as we remembered it as kids. Or as a family for that matter. Maybe it's because we weren't a whole family. Kieran had gone with his Gram and Gramps to his aunts house for the big feast so we didn't have all our kids to experience the holiday with.
I felt very good about my decision to let Marla have Kieran. The way I see it, if Sean were still alive I'd have to share Kieran anyway so why keep him from that part of his family for big events? It's just not right.
This morning has been uneventful. Sadie and I got up at 6:30 and hung out together until 8 when we went in and got Ryan out of bed. Notice I didn't say "wake up" I said "out of bed"? I say this because as I type he's sawing logs on the couch. I wish he'd wake up but I have a feeling it won't be for a while. It usually takes at least 2 hours to get him up when he does this. Then, he's still a zombie for another 2 hours before he starts to realize he's wasting his day.
We both came to a realization...I crash on the couch in the evening and he does it in the morning. I have to be honest, it bugs me to no end but there is no reasoning with him or getting him up until he's ready. It sucks. The whole reason I got him up was to spend time with him and knowing it's going to take 4 hours before he can really even open his eyes is irritating. Not to mention, I have to take care of the kids by myself. I think he's even able to get me up at night and take care of kids but he doesn't cooperate at all.
Poor Steff, she just came in and crawled on the couch to spend time with her daddy and, when she told him to wake up, he shushed her. Poor thing just wants to sit and watch Sprout with her daddy.
She also just got out of bed. It was funny because I went in to wake her up and she layed in her bed for 30 minutes before she emerged from her bedroom. It was kinda cute.
Well, I have mail to send out and things to do so I'm sure I'll be back with more stuff later...

How Much Info is Too Much Info

2007-11-22T07:06:00.000-07:00

I made a mistake...I thought I could literally and candidly express myself on my blog. I erroneously believed that I could use this as an outlet and show people what's really going on inside this head. I learned my leason. Or, should I say I will have learned my leason once my mother in-law gets a hold of me today.
You see, I blogged about drinking. Which is not okay with Ryan's family. They believe that if I have a few drinks I will turn into a drunk and that I have not taken care of my children...
To my defense...I don't have a problem with alcohol...I may have had one in the past but since my son's father died, that part of me died too. I finally figured out that my children have one mom...and, that's me. They don't get a second one if I die.
To take this a little furthur on how deep this has changed me...I used to believe that the Lord could change something about you if you truly believed in your heart that He could. I learned from my own experience that He does work miracles in people's everyday lives. Since Sean died I have not once binged on alcohol nor have I had the urge or feel the need. I have actually drank less than I have, ever, since I was 15. Can you explain this? I can, and I just did. God cured me...Plain and simple, I am no longer a slave to alcohol.
Don't buy this? Fine...Have doubts? That's your faith problem, not mine. I can say that since Sean died I have actually had the ability to "stop" when enough was enough. I can actually and truly, "walk away" and I can now have just one drink and not "need" more.
Don't ask me how I know that I have changed because until you feel how I feel you cannot understand the healing power of our Lord...
As for taking care of my children...I have not once drank, not even one drink without another sober adult able to take charge. I don't neglect my children. I can't say it any nicer. Nor will I.
I'm actually insulted that I am not trusted to secure me children's safety when I know I may become slightly slowed. I am equally insulted that I cannot live my life the way I want without grief.
It's my business and I made a mistake. You won't know the truth from here on out because I won't make the same mistake twice. I'll just create a different blog where I can really express myself and in this one I will candy cote life. Just the way everyone wants to read it...

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

2007-11-22T06:42:00.000-07:00

It's turkey day!!! Yeah, we all have made it through another year. I know I sound premature saying we made it through another year but think of it this way....if you send out annual Christmas cards that contain the yearly letter of what has happened in your family, then you are literally wrapping up your year. As I've stated before, my Christmas cards are ready to go...Woohoo...I can't explain how great it feels to have those done...
But, again, it's Thanksgiving and with the tradition of Thanksgiving I should list the things I'm thankful for. I figured I could name the top ten and maybe a little narrative to go along with it.
Top 10 Things I'm Thankful For...(in no particular order)
1. That I can be a Christian...
2. That I'm free to practice my religion.
3. For this great country.
4. The men and women in uniform that defend this land.
5. My children...
6. My husband...
7. All the doctors and medical staff that have wisely treated my family.
8. My sanity, well, at times I'm grateful for this luxury.
9. My extended family and all they offer in the way of love and support...
10. I'm grateful to have a living relationship with God and the freedom to express that I do.
And I'll name one more for good measure because after all, 11 is my favorite number...
11. My life...
I know a lot of these go with old cliches but these are the most true to my heart.
Happy Thanksgiving America...

2 Angels Laughing

2007-11-21T21:52:00.000-07:00

I saw two angels today. My daughters were playing together and laughing hysterically. To see my daughters laughing together was to see two angels on earth. It was absolutely beautiful...

A Long Day

2007-11-21T21:09:00.000-07:00

It's been a long day...This morning started out slow but once I left to take Kieran to see Dr.Kluthe it went faster and faster and I'm just barely getting to sit down and blog.
Kieran's appointment went well. He said that when Kieran threatens to move out we should just act uninterested and thus he's not receiving the rise out of us that he's looking for and hence, he'll eventually stop saying it. As for when he acts rageful we should tell him thanks for letting us know his feelings and the point is to ultimately have him come to us and tell us instead of acting them out. So, I learned some good techniques...
Steff and Sadie hung out with me all day, accept for when I took Kieran to his appointment of course. We took Kieran out to his Grams and then we came home for a few minutes and after that it got more busy...We left and went to pick up my mom from work so she could watch the girls while I went to my doctor's appointment but, we ended up all going to the appointment. The appointment was a wreck with Steff wanting to talk with the nurse first, and then the doctor. She wanted their attention and my mother wasn't being very helpful with trying to keep her out of our business. Heaven forbid, she wouldn't even hold Sadie so my doctor didn't have to step over her. And, I thought she would be helpful since it was her idea for all of us to go...
Then we went to the grocery store...that was a zoo. Beings it was the night before the big feast. I had to get a prescription and we loaned my mom more money so she could buy all the food for her and Danny to have a Thanksgiving feast...Can you tell I'm annoyed with her?
So, we dropped my mom and the food off and the girls and I went out to see Ryan at work. That was the highlight of my night...I miss him and I'm excited for him to have 2 days off.
After we left Ryan's work, we went to my dad's since it was just 5 minutes away. I had a good time over there and it was nice to spend time with dad, Kelly and my sisters. I actually ended up bringing one of my sisters home with me for the night. I brought Tayler home because there was no way I was getting Steff out of their house without her. She definitely didn't want to leave when I told her it was time to go...
Now, it's past my kids bedtime and we're still watching a movie. Even Sadie is still awake and it's two hours past her bedtime. Some time they will all go to bed and I can hardly wait...I know I'm ready for bed...

Morning Ramblings

2007-11-21T06:27:00.001-07:00

Steff is the first one of my children to get out of bed. She got up about 15 minutes ago and it's only 6:30...It's usually Sadie that is up this early. I don't mind, I like to start my day early...

I had a few beers last night and I feel great this morning. Ryan stated some concern about it and I agreed that I'd slow my roll and not drink for a while. Which is really going to be hard since the holidays are coming up and we'll be spending time with my family. They are drinkers...not lushes, they just have a few drinks now and then. I like it, it's kind of fun to sit back and have a beer with your family and know it's okay.

Ryan's family doesn't really drink. Some of the extended family does...like his uncle and cousin and the like, but his immediate family doesn't...their religion doesn't believe in it. I understand it and I definitely respect it but sometimes it'd be fun to see his family with a nice healthy buzz.
I have to admit that they showed me you can have a great time without drinking. That's nice, and honestly, I really don't mind that they don't drink. We have an good time whether we're with my crazy family or his equally crazy family.

I wonder what today is going to be like? I have to take Kieran to see his psychologist and I need to run to the store for Thanksgiving vittles-which I'm not looking forward to...the stores are always a mad house the day before any holiday... Especially, one that has such a staple as food. Today is also the biggest travel day of the year so all the roads are going to mad with crazy drivers...I also have a doc appointment at 4...better leave early for that one.

There are few things I need to talk to Kieran's doc about; such as how he's been exhibiting some symptoms of rage lately. He's been throwing and kicking things and just all out getting angry. He also has been threatening to move out a lot. I thought he had it pretty good here, he doesn't have many chores and he's allowed to do a lot of things...I don't know what's going on in his head. Maybe it all has something to do with the holidays coming up and the fact that it's only the second year since his daddy died? All I know is that whatever I can do to help him, I will do.

Steff has been learning lately that naughty behavior gets you put in time out. And, she hates time out. She'll usually scream for quite a while before she catches on that she's not getting out until she mellows out. She's learning, slowly, but surely. It's nice to have her mind better and throw less fits when she doesn't get her way. She may be a little under-disciplined but she has good manners....she always says "please" and "thanks"-not "thank you," "thanks..." The other really cute one is when she says, "you're welcome." I have to laugh because she sounds so grown up when she says this.
Speaking of the things she says...she cracks everyone up with the way she talks and comes up with some of the oddest things to say. Her vocabulary is amazing for a two year. We get comments on how well she talks all the time.

Sadie has been good, she still cries about half the time when you leave the room and she doesn't want you to but, I read that it's a normal phase she's going through. This great book I have explains that she does it because she's learning she wants to be independent and she wants to be the one to leave the room-not you. The book explains this behavior is normal right before a baby starts to walk.
One thing we've noticed about Sadie is that she does everything on her own time. When she learned to sit up, we'd been practicing with her and she just wouldn't "get" it, then, one day she just sat...same thing with crawling, she just did it one day. There wasn't much preparation, she just took off one summer day and now we have to chase her all over the house. We think it will be the same with standing and walking too. I would bet she just stands one day and then one day she just takes off walking. But, there's no "teaching" her and she doesn't cooperate when you try. Like yesterday for instance, Ryan had her standing and he was supporting her with one finger and she was doing the rest and doing it well but the moment he moved his finger she plopped onto her little bum. Stubborn little stinker she is...

Ryan is looking forward to Thanksgiving but I'm sure it has more to do with not having to go to work than it does with the food. Matter of fact, I know this is the case. When he got home (at two am) we were talking about how much time he was going to be taking off. He said he was gonna take Friday off too. Which, I have to agree with. Hell, I'd like it if he'd take the whole weekend but he has a trip to save for so he needs the overtime.
Kinda funny that I'm sending him on vacation but in order for him to go he has to work lots of OT to afford it. I don't think he minds though. He's just excited to go. He was cute and sweet yesterday, he was saying that he's sure he'll be homesick. I don't want him to feel that way. I want him to have a great time and be happy to be away from it all. Then to top it off, he comes home and a week later he gets an entire week off for Christmas. He'll appreciate spending time with us after having that time away...

Going Crazy with the Help of Children

2007-11-20T17:45:00.000-07:00

My children are driving me crazy....!!!!
Right now, Steff is in her room, in time out, and screaming to get out.
Kieran is actually sitting eating or I'm sure he'd be being mouthy, like he has been all night.
So, Kieran and Steff are driving me nuts.
Sadie on the other hand, is being good. She's talking with her Nana, can't be sure what she's saying but she's being cute.
All in all though, I'm going crazy. When one kid turns on the charm(read charm as being naughty), it seems like one has to follow. I can't be sure which one started it but Kieran and Steff are cruisin....
I received a phone call today from some woman, stating that Kieran had been swearing at some girls today. I confronted him and, he lied. I advised him he had one more chance to tell me the truth because I wasn't calling this lady back and sounding like the hind end of a horse if he really was swearing.
He fessed up and got grounded to his room for three days. I wouldn't have even gotten mad if he'd told me the truth the first time. I'm trying to instill in my kids to tell the truth because the consequences are less when your honest.
When I told him that he sat there and argued with me that I still would have grounded him for three days. I told him not to tell me what I would, and would not have done. He obliged...
What do you do when 2 of 3 of your children are being so out of control.?
I personally just grabbed my head and screamed, which emitted a laugh from Sadie.
I guess I should be glad that at least one of my children are being good instead of dwelling on the two that are being turds...

Musical Day

2007-11-20T13:17:00.001-07:00

Here's a picture of the girls that I took while blogging. Steff was going behind the couch arm and then jumping up and playing peak-a-boo with Sadie. They were both laughing hysterically...

I don't particularly want to be blogging but outside of listening to music on You Tube and my stereo, I have nothing else to do. Yah, I could be cleaning my house but we already know that is bad for your health and stupid when you have little children.

I received a cd in the mail yesterday and a 3 pack of 80's hits today and as I said, I was listening to Pink Floyd on You Tube....
Now, I'm listening to my 80's tunes and enjoying each minute of every song. I live for 80's top hits...

My new adventure is to get Sadie off the bottle. We bought her a juice cup today and she seems to be doing good with it. She is so cute the way she tips her head back when she's sitting up and trying to drink...

Steff has been a good girl so far today...She has been listening and minding very well. I know I may have just jinxed myself...But, for now she is eating her menagerie of foods and drinking her juice and, get this....watching Sprout. Who would have thought she'd watch Sprout...?

The UPS guy just showed up...The UPS delivery system comes down our street every day. Never fails, I'll be out smoking and he'll (or she) drive by and lately about half the time they are delivering something to my house. I love getting things in the mail. It's better than going shopping because it has that waiting for it aspect.
I got a BIG box this time. Of course, it had many Christmas gifts in it and that was good. I also got the wrapping paper that I ordered. There is a different wrapping paper for each of my kids so that I don't have to use name tags....Kieran's has Transformers on it, Steff's has Disney princesses on it and Sadie's has Winney the Pooh characters.

Ryan has gone off to work already. He left about 30 minutes ago and it's 2pm now. He's feeling better today but he still feels "not quite right." The guy that runs his machine during the day has the week off so Ryan gets to go in early so he can come home early...I like it because he gets up earlier in the morning. It's actually morning when he gets up instead of being early afternoon.

I forgot how much I love music. I didn't remember what a great mood it puts me until today and I've been listening to it. Have fun....girls...they just wanna have fun...Gotta love Cyndi Lauper. I really forgot how great of a mood music puts me in. I feel great, this is better than drugs-not that I really know a whole lot about drugs but I can assume...

Ryan is getting really excited to go to Oakland and see the Raiders. His only reservation is that he wishes I were going and he feels bad that he's going on vacation without me. He says he knows both of us really need one so going without me makes him feel bad.
Honestly, I wish I were going. I'd love to see the ocean with my husband and to sit and cheer for our football team together. Not to mention how bad I'm gonna miss him. We have always been in the same house to sleep. We've never had a night apart in 4 years. It's gonna be hard.
I am gonna miss him so bad...He'll be home in 4 days.
I'm gonna be okay.
And, if I keep telling myself that then maybe it will be so...?

Thought for the day...Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.......I'm too young to die.....even if I feel old some days. Oh, today is a good day.

My mother in-law and I were talking about our bursitis and she was saying she got hers from a car accident she was in when she was 16 and we went through the whole list of things that could have caused mine. There's no one, single event that caused mine. It could have been dancing when I was younger, or the 2 car accidents I was in while I was pregnant(one with Steff and one with Sadie), or it could have been caused by carrying 3 children. Who knows? Not I, but I also came to the conclusion that whether you know what caused it or not, it's not gonna fix it...Yeah, it'd be nice to know so you can cuss that one day or moment or decision but it's not gonna change anything, you will still be in pain on certain days and others will be okay...Bursitis sucks...

I'm still listening to music and feeling absolutely elated. I love music, it's so healing. Speaking of healing. I have yet another doctors appointment tomorrow, this time it's to get my meds refilled and have my back adjusted, anyway....I'm gonna talk to him about physical therapy and the like. Because...my lower back and hips are getting worse. I can't even go for a short walk without putting myself down for two days with pain. I used to go to the gym with Ryan every day and do the ellipticals and I never had any pain. Not so these days. All I know is I'm sick of being in pain. There has to be something I can do or that the doctor can do to help me.
I know I talk about being in pain a lot but it's only because it consumes me some days with it's intensity. I pray for strength and for a miracle but the Lord has a different plan for me. It's hard to keep faith but He always answer prayers....Sometimes "yes," sometimes "no," sometimes "maybe," and sometimes "later." For now, and forever, I'll keep my faith and hang in there and maybe I'll bitch a little less on my blog? I'll definitely try to focus a little less on each days level of pain. Whether it has brought me to tears or if it's just annoying, I'm gonna change my perspective....See, He does answer prayers. I just had an epiphany on what I can do to deal with my ailments....
Only, the Lord can do that...give you tips in your mind. Who else could be so wonderful and fill you with answers and guidance? No One....

Tonight...

2007-11-19T18:07:00.001-07:00

Well, it sounds like Ryan is getting sick after all. I was just saying yesterday how I couldn't figure out how he and Kieran escaped getting the wicked cold the females in the house all got. I must have jinxed him...
He called earlier saying he has a headache he can't get rid of, he feels hot, his eyes are burning and he just doesn't feel good. I told him he should come home and get rest. He told me he's a big boy and he'd see how long he could hang in there. I feel terrible that he doesn't feel well and if he is getting sick that would explain why he was so worn out yesterday. It really didn't seem like he did all that much but he did seem really worn out.
Kieran is being decent tonight...Not bad and not great. He's been playing with Steff really well but he's also been a stinker to me at times.
Steff is running around and being crazy. She just got a hold of a whisk and started smacking at her brother. Oh...which reminds me; today I caught her smacking her sister with a plastic, slotted spoon. I took it away and warned her not to hit her sister...
Say is being cute. She is just crawling around playing and being content.
I am worried about Ryan and I hope he doesn't play tough guy and not come home if he gets feeling worse. I love my family so much that it hurts me when they hurt.

Just Sadie

2007-11-19T09:35:00.001-07:00

It's just me and Sadie this morning. Since Steff was up at all hours of the night she is being allowed to sleep in today. Ryan is also in bed but that's because he works nights and he's always up until 3 or 4 in the morning.
Sadie has been quite content this morning. We only had one moment where she followed me crying but I think that's because I had her bottle and was on my way into the kitchen to fill it for her.
She has been playing with various toys this morning and occasionally she'll come over to me and make some speech sounds and then off she goes to play again.
It's been a good morning with her and her first nap should be coming up soon so I will hopefully get a few minutes to myself before Steff rises and shines...

Crazy Night

2007-11-19T08:12:00.000-07:00

There is nothing else to say about last night other than it was crazy. We went to my sister's birthday party and I had a great time but as usual it was nuts. We are all loud and to someone that isn't used to us, overstimulating...
It's like the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding only we're Italian, German's...We are loud and louder than each other.
Ryan is grateful his family is on the more mellow side.
Anyway, we came home and I sent Ryan to take a short nap because he was exhausted from cleaning the leaves from our over-grown Maple tree. And, I took care of the kids. Kieran took a bath and Steff watched Sprout...Sadie had gone off to bed with daddy. I had had a three Rum and Cokes so I drank lots of water and ate...
Surprisingly, I feel great this morning. No hip pain and no feeling rough from drinking. But I haven't gotten in to the craziest part of the night yet...
After I woke Ryan up, I crashed out and when I woke up (because Sadie was beckoning for a bottle) it was 1am and Ryan was out in the garage installing a stereo in his truck.
I'm sure our neighbors believe he's on meth...since he is always up into the wee hours of the morning...but that's still not the crazy part, that's pretty normal for him...
After I went to the garage and had a smoke with him I went to bed. Yes, I actually went to our bed and I was sleeping so beautifully until...
Steff came in around 3:30am and woke me up wanting something. Honestly, I can't remember what she wanted all I know is she woke Sadie back up and when I came into the living room she had the tv on and was watching Sprout. I think she came in because daddy just turned on the tv and came to bed. Leaving her to her own devices and she was bored. I can't say that for sure, so I will check with Ryan and get back with you on that. I know she doesn't know how to turn on the tv let alone change the channel-and we hadn't been watching Sprout when I fell asleep...
So, I stayed up with her until 5am this morning, all the while trying to convince her to go back to bed. She did finally go back to bed but I had a hard time falling back to sleep and it wasn't in my wonderful bed it was on the couch again....
I think I finally started dozing off around 6am and Sadie woke up - again...I thought for sure it was for the day since that is usually the time she gets up in the morning. I was thinking today was going to be a baaaad day but somehow she took mercy on her mom and went back to sleep until 7:30 this morning. Oh, how I feel so loved by this little girl for being allowed to catch a little more sleep...
So, as you see it was a crazy night and surprisingly I feel wonderful...

What A Good Day

2007-11-18T11:53:00.000-07:00

Today is a great day so far.
The kids have been pretty good.
Steff was a stinker and got into one of my plants but she has been cooperative outside of that...
Sadie has been taking a long nap which is kind of odd but good since she usually only takes a 45 minute one.
Kieran still isn't home but he should be soon.
My mom went to work so she could have the day after Thanksgiving off.
Ryan is painting the window seal in the kitchen and he and I have been just chattin each other up. That's nice. We don't have a whole lot of time to just be...together.
So instead of sittin here blogging I should be spending the time with my wonderful husband...
Tonight around 5 we are going to my sister's house to celebrate one of my other sister's birthday. It should be a good time...It usually is when we all get together.
I read something about the average amount of conversation that married couples have in a week and get this it's only 17 minutes of conversation on an average........
Kieran just got home. It's time to spend time as a family....

Today Has Been Rough

2007-11-17T15:32:00.000-07:00

Today has been somewhat of a rough day. Not that my kids are doing anything rotten-at least not as of yet...it's just that I only had four hours of sleep and a half hour, interupted nap on the sofa. That and we have a low pressure so that causes my hips to give me grief. All this makes for a rough day.
I still can't get over how great last night was...I enjoyed it so very much...Ryan being at work would be super hard if we hadn't spent the evening together...That's not saying it's easy but at least I have fond memories to go on...
The kids have been pretty good today. Steff and Sadie played together well and they both ate a big dinner and the house is quiet-thanks to Nemo...
Kieran is off to his Gram and Gramps for the night and although I miss him, sometimes it's nice to not have a night with him and Steff screatching at each other. Not that they do it every night but ya never can be quite sure what kind of night it's going to be.
I have taken two baths today in the hopes that they would ease some of this icky feeling. I don't have a hang-over or anything like that, I just feel beat up. I do however feel a little better after my bath(s).
I am patiently awaiting Ryan's arrival home and it's sure taking it's dear sweet time getting here. He should be leaving as I am typing this and it's about twenty to eight. Sadie will be going to bed in a few minutes and then Steff about an hour later. I do want to keep them up for their dad to be able to spend a few more minutes with them but I can't be sure if they will cooperate.
I forgot to mention that we went out to Ryan's work for about an hour and sat with him while he had his lunch and ran some parts. He even made sure we all had safety glasses on while we were in the production area. I think that is so sweet. Steff sure looked cute with those big glasses on her face. Say didn't have any but her face wouldn't have supported them and she and I sat away from the machines. We had a good time but it was very hard to leave him there. That was when we decided that he needed to get everything all cleaned up and come home...He'd put in enough overtime for the week. I sincerely wanted to go back in and help him clean up so he could come home sooner but I had the girls and it just wasn't a possibility.
Well, I think I've worn out my blogging welcome for the day and I'd like to vege on the couch for a minutes before I have to give my full attention to my wonderful husband when he gets home. Take care and have a great night.
One final thought that was shared with me last night...Cleaning your house while you have small children is like shoveling your walk before it's done snowing....Yet another reason to go on strike against cleaning...

Completely Bumbed Out

2007-11-17T10:51:00.000-07:00

So, I'm completely bummed out...Ryan has to work a ten hour day to pay the bills and be able to provide Christmas for our family...I wish I had a job sometimes so I could go to work and he could stay home and spend time with his kids. I just cried my eyes out before he left because each time I saw him give one of his kid love it just broke my heart to know he had to leave. I can't make it all better and that hurts from a nurturing point of view.
The kids seem to be doing well. They sure wanted to spend time with their daddy though.
Kieran is in a good place. He's being cooperative and sweet and helpful. He's going to his Gram and Gramps today so he won't be going with us when we go out to see dad for lunch. That sorta bums me out because he needs to have more time with his dad.
Steff has been a little turd. I just got done cleaning up a dirt mess from her getting into my plants and playing.
Sadie is still doing that following and crying thing. She's getting a little better but she still wants to be held and loved a lot.
Kieran and I are going to go through a catalog and see what he wants for Christmas so I better go...

Picture Before The Date

2007-11-17T10:00:00.000-07:00

Here we are before the big date last night...

It was a fun night. They had door prizes, bonus checks, entertainment...which was absolutely wonderful. This guy was an music artist impersonator...I cannot express how great he was. He's worked in Vegas so you know he's at least good.

Good Times

2007-11-16T23:40:00.001-07:00

We had a date!!! We went to Ryan's work company dinner party. They always throw it the Friday before Thanksgiving in order to not cause any conflicts that may occur with family parties through the holidays. I have so many good things to say and yet I'm so tired.
Today was a pretty laid back yet busy day and I think maybe tomorrow would be a better time to blog about all the happenings.
My house is a boarding house tonight. My mom's friend Danny is staying over since it was so late when Ryan and I got back from the party. Plus my brother and his friend are out partying and they need a local place to crash for the night. So, we agreed that would be fine.
My eyes are burnin...I had five long island ice tees and they were yummy. I feel the need to finish them off by sleeping a nice long winters nap...Or something like that...Anyway, I will blog more about the happenings of today first thing in the morning.
Right now we are watching a dvd of Pink Floyd and relaxing...Good times.

Picture of Kieran

2007-11-15T17:41:00.000-07:00

Here's the latest picture of Kieran

A Little About Nothing

2007-11-15T14:41:00.000-07:00

It's nice and quiet. I have put both girls down for a nap and Ryan has gone to work...
Oh...the peace...
I wonder what I'm gonna do with myself? I could actually take a nice, quiet shower or I could take a nap or read a book. Or maybe even watch a little television...Which means no Sprout...
Today has been a pretty good day. It's always nice to spend time with Ryan. I only wish Kieran were home when Ryan is. They don't get to spend much time together.
I'm really thinking a nap sounds good...

Nope...didn't nap. I actually took a shower to see if I could wake up...I couldn't figure out why I was dragging so bad and then it dawned on me that I hadn't eaten at all today...So, I ate.

The Aliens Have Landed

2007-11-15T12:26:00.000-07:00

We have proof that there are ETs. Not only that, but they can and do produce offspring...

Movies, Laughing and Starbucks

2007-11-15T09:06:00.000-07:00

The whole bottle thing went well. Steff didn't complain that she didn't have her bottle last night or this morning. She actually calls her sippy cup her bottle but she still doesn't drink it.

Right now the girls are in their bedroom and Steff is making some shrilling sound and then laughing. I'm quite sure Sadie is taking and putting her hands over her ears and Steff thinks it's funny.

I had a decent night of sleep. It was still on the couch but I woke up this morning feeling okay. I was a little stiff but that's to be expected as you get a little older.

I snuck off to Starbucks this morning and got myself a triple shot, caramel machiatto. Steff was still asleep when I took Kieran to school so on the way I didn't have to hear her protests about not wanting to go to Starbucks. I don't know why she doesn't like it, I always get banana bread and share with her.

Tomorrow I will be watching Jenn's twins again. I should have them every other Friday for the day. Which it's a few extra bucks in my pocket and taking care of them makes the day go by fast. And, Ryan will be working a lot overtime from now until he goes to Oakland and then he'll still work lots after that for Christmas. So, lots of stuff to do equals time going by faster...

Steff has a new movie...Ratatouille...She hasn't actually watched it all the way through but she keeps asking to watch it. The way she says it is worth each time she asks...Rat a too lee...Oh, she is so cute-sometimes. I just watched a few moments of it and it's actually quite funny.

Not much else is going on...I need to do something with myself so I'm sure I'll be back later.

Promotions, Bottles and Visitors

2007-11-14T20:42:00.000-07:00

Ryan got a promotion!!! He's been working his tail off and he's been the "go to guy" for a long time and management finally recognized his effort by giving him a fifty cents raise and naming him the "water spider." Which is code for he gets paid to be the "go to guy" now. I am so excited for him and the raise couldn't come at a better time...with Christmas coming and him going to Oakland, Cali for a few days...

Ryan has had a good few days I'd say...He gets a vacation then a raise. This dog is having his day. I'm happy for him. He deserves it...

Steff is off the bottle!!! This is big news...It happened by accident too. I had bought a sippy cup for Sadie in which she detested but Steff thought it was pretty cool. So, this morning when Steff wanted her morning bottle, I couldn't find it and resorted to the sippy cup. She didn't protest much and she didn't drink it either. I thought maybe she'd get hooked to the sippy cup but she doesn't really drink from it much so no worries about that one. She even went down for her nap without any protest or fits for her bottle. I just keep reminding her that she's a big girl now and big girls don't have bottles.

Tonight may be a challenge so everyone keep your fingers crossed and I'll keep you posted on how things go...

My mom's friend Danny has been here for the last several nights but with good reason. His apartment is torn up. He literally has no toilet and his water is off. To top that off, we are hitting some of the coldest temperatures yet this year and his heaters have to have water to heat up. Now, don't go thinking he didn't pay his bill, his water is off because some tree roots grew into the underground pipes and bust them. There's no telling how long the repairs will take but I feel good about doing something nice for someone else.

My step-mom had surgery on her thyroid today. She had three cysts on it that where the same size as her thyroid itself. So she had to have her thyroid removed. I can tell you that it was hard to see her that way. She's usually a spunky go getter.

Not Much To Blog About

2007-11-14T14:54:00.000-07:00

There really isn't much to blog about. The girls have been pretty good today and Kieran, although grounded is sittin and watching one of his favorite shows. He's only grounded from playing with friends not from anything inside the house. Ryan has gone off to work and was a real sweetheart today. He even let me take a nap on the floor. The girls are in bed although Sadie is in serious protest about this idea. She hasn't been napping really well for the last couple of days. Makes a parent wonder what is going on?
I'm sitting here with my head on my desk and typing away. Kieran keeps having me watch different things on his show, it's kind of annoying. I am ppoped toay and living in a fog. I can't be sure what the deal is but it's very annoying and I wish it would go away...
I wish Ryan could stay home from work tonight. Sometimes it would be nice to have his company in the middle of the week. I know he has to work but what'svacation for if you never use it?
I haven't done anything to excting today. I already expressed how pain free I am so life is good.

2007-11-14T08:54:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures of my not-so-clean house. I just wanted to share so that when I talk about certain rooms you get the idea of what they look like. The first one is of the living room. Notice the big tv that Sadie likes to pull herself to and bang on the screen...The second one is of the dinning room. We will be refinishing it soon and then we can buy a nice dinette set. The last is of the computer area. Notice the top of the gate at the very bottom of the picture? It keeps the computers safe from little intruders.

She Sleeps Like A Baby...

2007-11-14T07:39:00.001-07:00

Well, first off Ryan appologized for not being better about his surprise. He admitted he has a problem with money-code for he worries and thinks about it far too much. He said he's excited and he nows what a sacrifice I have made for him to be able to go. He also told me he didn't want anything else for Christmas but I just ignored him since he's got a long list of CD's he wants.
I'm just happy he came to his senses about the whole thing. I wasn't looking for any appology but I wanted him to be happy with his gift. Mission accomplished.

Next order of business...I got sleep. I slept like a baby. Which they truly sleep like garbage so it fits. But, I got sleep and I feel great. I actually woke up pain free too. I think it had something to do with waking at 5am and taking something for pain just to see if it would make a difference in the morning.

What a world of difference!!! I can actually pick my legs up to step over the computer gate area...
It just dawned on me that I should take pictures of my house and post them so when I talk about things you know what the crap I'm speaking of.
Anyway, I feel great and in spite of waking up several time throughout the night I feel wonderful..

Kieran rose and shined this morning. He got up a little later than normal but I think I like getting him to school closer to eight than 7:45. I know he likes to get there early to play but the weather has been pretty cold in the morning so I doubt theey're outside playing anything. I should talk to him...

Kieran also has his own email address but it's attached to mine and I check it often. I don't actually read the messages, I just look at who the senders are. There a lot of sickos out in the world so you can never be too careful...If you want to send him an email I'm sure he'd love it.... kmanster@comcast.net .

Steff has been pretty good this morning, she's already taken a toy away from Sadie and said, "It's mine!" but other than that she's been pretty cooperative. Right now she's playing in the dinning room and writting things in the fog on the big window in there.
Sadie is doing great this morning. She didn't get up until after 7 this morning so that was a nice treat. She is just sittin around playing and doing her usual cooing. She has only pulled herself up the telelvision one time and she's not following me crying...

My kids are so cute and wonderful. I know they have their moments but I love them. Thought for the day:Maturity is partially defined by the willingness to be accountable, without excuse, for your actions...

The Not So Great Surprise

2007-11-13T20:43:00.000-07:00

So, today is my father in-laws sixtyith birthday and he's an Atlanta Colts fan and Ryan is an Oakland Raiders football fan. Both teams play each other on Dec 16th. So my sister in-law had the great idea to send them both together to watch the game.
My father in-law opened his gift and Anne announced that there may be another ticket in the room. I had bought a nice Christmas card for Ryan and put his ticket in it. And, he opened it.
Then he jokingly said he didn't want to go watch his Raiders lose to the Colts...
Then he said, "How much did that cost?"
My feelings are so hurt...
He not only gets to go to a pro football game but it's far enough away that he gets to have a little vacation away from work and he gets to leave home for a couple of days. And, all he wants to know is how much it cost!!!
What I wouldn't give to get away like that...Or better yet, to get a mini-vacation...
But needless to say it wasn't such a great gift. He wasn't at all excited or surprised.
As I said before, my feelings are pretty hurt...

The Girls Eating

2007-11-13T14:52:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to share this picture of the girls sitting down together eating. I think they look so cute. Especially Steffanie doing a cheesy look. Doesn't Sadie look cute just kickin' back?

Ryan Sprang Out of Bed

2007-11-13T14:08:00.000-07:00

I couldn't believe it...Ryan jumped right out of bed. I only went in one time and asked him to wake up. It's a new record...
I guess that means that I can't spend money....
That was the deal. . .He got out of bed easier and I don't spend money that isn't necessary.
I still can't believe he sprang out of bed. I was doing busy work and I turned around and there he was. It was almost creepy.

Sick of Poopy Diapers

2007-11-13T08:20:00.000-07:00

I am up to my elbows in poopy diapers. Or so it feels. When you have two toddlers or one toddler and one soon-to-be toddler in diapers if they each have to two poopy diapers a day that's four poopy diapers and more than 1/2 of all diapers thrown out. Okay, so maybe it's less than half but they stink so their intensity is at least double and that definitely is more than half.
I am so sick of poopy diapers. If I could figure out a way to make them stink half as bad it wouldn't be so bad but face it, poopy stinks...No bull about.