So, Steff lost my cell phone...You see, it's the only phone in the house that works for the moment and Kieran needed to use it. So, he got it out of my pocket while I was asleep and then he set it down next to me. Well, he found it in Sadie's possession over by the dog's pen and he brought it back and put it in my pocket. Apparently Steff saw him put it there and she took the liberty of taking it out and hiding it. All while I was asleep...We searched this house over and I even looked in her cubby spot where she sticks everything and no luck.
I had the great idea, after much praying and asking God for wisdom to have Kieran go to the neighbors house and call it until I answered. Well, he did and I went to Steff's room where I had a gut feeling it was and lo and behold there it was...in her cubby spot. I had missed it when I reached under there looking for it.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Just Things About Today
It's been an interesting and busy morning for me. I woke up at 7am only to call my mom and wake her up. She was suppost to call me at 7 and wake me up but she slept through the call time. So, I did the calling. Kieran was getting ready for school and Steff was watching tv. Sadie was patiently waiting to be taken out of her crib. So, I had the girls up and watching television and Kieran going off to school. Not a bad moment.
Then at 8:30 Rex had an appointment at the groomers so I had to wake Ryan up to come and watch the girls while I ran him down to Petco. When I got there the guy told me he'd only take a half an hour but Ryan needed to go back to bed. He went back to bed when I got home and Steff shortly followed with the whole going to sleep thing. Which was good because when I went to get Rex I didn't get Ryan back up, I just went in and told him that Steff was asleep and Sadie was watching tv. He stayed in bed with the door open so he could hear any crying and get up to see what was going on.
When I finally got home from picking up Rex, Sadie was still in the exact same spot as when I left. She was standing on the cushion less couch and jumping. I know what you're thinking...I left her on the couch!!! But you have to understand that the couch had no cushions and therefore she can climb up and down with ease and not fall. She loves to stand on the couch and she knows how to get down when it does have the cushions on it. It's pretty cute to see her turn around and lower her little feet down to the ground.
I'm feeling pretty good, very little pain. I slept wrong the other day while I was holding Rex and it hurt the middle of my back so that's the only place that's really uncomfortable. I have been doing really well lately but I believe it's because I've had Ultram's. Little miracle pills is what Ryan and I call them. They work so well and you don't get that narcotic feeling. It's wonderful...
Then at 8:30 Rex had an appointment at the groomers so I had to wake Ryan up to come and watch the girls while I ran him down to Petco. When I got there the guy told me he'd only take a half an hour but Ryan needed to go back to bed. He went back to bed when I got home and Steff shortly followed with the whole going to sleep thing. Which was good because when I went to get Rex I didn't get Ryan back up, I just went in and told him that Steff was asleep and Sadie was watching tv. He stayed in bed with the door open so he could hear any crying and get up to see what was going on.
When I finally got home from picking up Rex, Sadie was still in the exact same spot as when I left. She was standing on the cushion less couch and jumping. I know what you're thinking...I left her on the couch!!! But you have to understand that the couch had no cushions and therefore she can climb up and down with ease and not fall. She loves to stand on the couch and she knows how to get down when it does have the cushions on it. It's pretty cute to see her turn around and lower her little feet down to the ground.
I'm feeling pretty good, very little pain. I slept wrong the other day while I was holding Rex and it hurt the middle of my back so that's the only place that's really uncomfortable. I have been doing really well lately but I believe it's because I've had Ultram's. Little miracle pills is what Ryan and I call them. They work so well and you don't get that narcotic feeling. It's wonderful...
Monday, January 28, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Today has been a decent day. I have been feeling all right considering I don't have any pain meds of any sort. I'm so sick of having back problems but I have been using my faith as a crutch. I think it's working because the pain isn't as bad as it could be. Of course, I've been sitting on a heating pad since I got out of bed too. That has been helping.
The girls are being pretty good. Steff has been imaginatively playing with various toys and Sadie is roaming around the house picking everything off the floor and eating it.
Today Ryan and I have an appointment with a financial group that claims their goal is to educate and not necessarily sell anything but, we'll see. We can't afford to buy life insurance at least not the coverage that we know we need. I know and we know we need it especially after Sean died and we saw what it was like to loose someone so abruptly.
I go see doctor Meyer today to get a cavity filled. I hate getting them filled. It's not so much that I hate the filling part, it's the feeling numb for a long period of time.
Sadie is in by the puppy ripping up his paper and of course she's eating it. As mean as it is we call her the garbage disposal because she eats everything. I do mean everything. It's sort of funny but somewhat annoying.
Kieran was excited that he started his new meds today. I advised him that these one's would not make him sick so it'll be interesting to see how he does today. He's a mind over matter kind of kid. If he thinks something bad will happen then he pretty much makes it happen. I wish I could help him have a more positive outlook on life. His Gram brought something up on the phone last night that I hadn't really thought about. She mentioned that the next time he sees Kluthe I should ask what to do when he makes up his mind in a negative way. Like seeing some snowboarders wrecked and then he was afraid to go down the mountain and he did end up hurting himself. Not bad, just a bruise on his knee but he made it seem a lot bigger than the bruise said it was. He just worries so much and it's so frustrating that he's this kid with the mind and actions of an adult.
Oh...I'd like to lay down and take a nap. Don't get me wrong I actually got a decent night of sleep but how nice it would be to lay these bones down and knot off. I think I'll study my Bible instead but I don't know ....
The girls are being pretty good. Steff has been imaginatively playing with various toys and Sadie is roaming around the house picking everything off the floor and eating it.
Today Ryan and I have an appointment with a financial group that claims their goal is to educate and not necessarily sell anything but, we'll see. We can't afford to buy life insurance at least not the coverage that we know we need. I know and we know we need it especially after Sean died and we saw what it was like to loose someone so abruptly.
I go see doctor Meyer today to get a cavity filled. I hate getting them filled. It's not so much that I hate the filling part, it's the feeling numb for a long period of time.
Sadie is in by the puppy ripping up his paper and of course she's eating it. As mean as it is we call her the garbage disposal because she eats everything. I do mean everything. It's sort of funny but somewhat annoying.
Kieran was excited that he started his new meds today. I advised him that these one's would not make him sick so it'll be interesting to see how he does today. He's a mind over matter kind of kid. If he thinks something bad will happen then he pretty much makes it happen. I wish I could help him have a more positive outlook on life. His Gram brought something up on the phone last night that I hadn't really thought about. She mentioned that the next time he sees Kluthe I should ask what to do when he makes up his mind in a negative way. Like seeing some snowboarders wrecked and then he was afraid to go down the mountain and he did end up hurting himself. Not bad, just a bruise on his knee but he made it seem a lot bigger than the bruise said it was. He just worries so much and it's so frustrating that he's this kid with the mind and actions of an adult.
Oh...I'd like to lay down and take a nap. Don't get me wrong I actually got a decent night of sleep but how nice it would be to lay these bones down and knot off. I think I'll study my Bible instead but I don't know ....
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
The Mad House
I had my first therapy session today and it went very well. I learned that the reason I spend money is to control something when I'm feeling out of control. I just need to find things to calm myself down and bring myself back into a safe level of control. I can't be too in control or I'll hit a manic phase of my disorder but I can't be too low or I'll be in a depressed state of that same disorder. Also known as Bipolar. . .another ungly word that is part of my life. I do okay but I want to change certain parts of myself. I'm proud of myself for taking the initiative and getting the help that both I need and my budget needs.
The kids are being hyper tonight. The puppy does that to them. Of course, they in turn make him hyper too. Oh, how I long for bedtime. I know it won't be for a few hours yet since Steff took a nap but I can hope and pray and learn to deal with the way things are. I wonder though, where is Steff going to decide she wants to sleep? It's getting to be very out of control...
Oh, the stomping that is going on because the kids are trying to get the dog to bark. It's amazing that my floor doesn't just collapse. . .
The potty training is going well with the dog. He has these pads that are designed for him to potty on and he does a good job at using them. I'm quite the proud little parent. It's not going to be easy to get him used to going outside but come spring he's gonna be learning a new set of tricks.
The kids are being hyper tonight. The puppy does that to them. Of course, they in turn make him hyper too. Oh, how I long for bedtime. I know it won't be for a few hours yet since Steff took a nap but I can hope and pray and learn to deal with the way things are. I wonder though, where is Steff going to decide she wants to sleep? It's getting to be very out of control...
Oh, the stomping that is going on because the kids are trying to get the dog to bark. It's amazing that my floor doesn't just collapse. . .
The potty training is going well with the dog. He has these pads that are designed for him to potty on and he does a good job at using them. I'm quite the proud little parent. It's not going to be easy to get him used to going outside but come spring he's gonna be learning a new set of tricks.
Up For The Day
It's almost 7 and I've been up for an hour after a long night and lots of wake ups. I'm feeling exhausted. Today is also grocery day so it's going to be a long day. The only good thing is that I will get my Ultram filled today. They are non-narcotic pain killers and they're little miracle pills. They get rid of the pain without the side affects of narcotic type pain killers. You know, tired, dizzy the whole gambit. They are nice, I'd recommend them for anyone who has chronic pain. Cuz folks, let's face it, I have chronic pain...Nothing sounds like such a death sentence as hearing yourself say you suffer from "chronic pain," Yuck.
Steff is up and being very difficult this morning. I've had to cover her up with her blanket a half a dozen times. I think it's about time she learned how to do that herself...what do you think? I know you agree with me. She's such a spoiled little child, all my kids are. Don't get me wrong we are fairly strict parents and we restrict what they are allowed to do and it will get worse as they get older and the temptations get greater but, they are spoiled. We do a lot of things for them. A lot of things they should be doing for themselves.
Kieran probably didn't get a very good night of sleep...he slept by the dog and each time I woke up he was whining to get out. So, the poor kid's gonna wanna sleep in his own bed tonight.
Right now Rex is in a playful mood. He's tearing up the newspaper in his pen and playing with his toys. I like it when he's like this but I like the little lap puppy much better. Okay, now he's barking...Not sure what at, but he is. Little stinker. Good thing Kieran gets up in fifteen minutes. Then I can check to see if he pottied on his paper and if he has he can come out and roam around and play in the living room but for now, I think I'd be rotten if I went and flipped on the light to see, with Kieran in there asleep and all.
Ryan said he had a long night at work and that he just felt stiff all night. I told him that I completely understood and that I sympathized with him. I do feel bad when he says he feels that way. I wish I could make him feel nice and good but I can't and it makes it hard. When you love someone this much it hurts you when they hurt. But, there is nothing I can do for him and I share my pain meds with him when he needs them but when they are gone, they are gone...And, let's face it folks, the Ultram doesn't last forever. I wish it did but it doesn't.
I'm feeling quite beat up this morning but I'm sure it's because it was a rough night. I already blogged about some of the events when I was up at 3:45am because Ryan thought it was social hour at that beautiful time. Butt head...I love seeing him when he comes home but some nights it's very hard to fall back to sleep. I have to take one Ambien before bed and then another in the middle of the night. They usually don't last much longer than a couple of hours so if I get a couple hours of sleep I feel good but last night when I took the second one I didn't get that couple of hours of sleep that they require to wear off so here I sit, feeling exhausted...but that's only the half of it. You see, if I don't get a good night of sleep my body feels it. I need that re coupe session for the sake of my back....Or else, it's a pain day.
I read something the other day about pain ravaged bodies and how to look forward to the Everafter...I really do look forward to the days and nights and eternity when my body doesn't feel the car accident and the babies I carried anymore. Those will be the good times....
I did get another injection into my other hip the other day and thus, I have no pain in my hips, it's just my back. After that car accident I was in I haven't been the same since. I get very tense muscles that muscle relaxers don't touch and that massage therapy appointments are too expensive to get. I know it should be the responsibility of the other driver's insurance but I'm not sure how to get appointments where they pay for it. The last time I went to a massage therapist and the Chiropractor was right before Sean died but since I have just been in to see Dr. E. and get back adjustments from him. My insurance covers most of the cost when I have him do it but they wouldn't if I went and saw a Chiropractor. Sounds like garbage to me but that's just the way it works.
Steff is laughing and playing with Rex now. I didn't get him out but he's barking and jumping at her and she is laughing and loving it. It's actually quite cute. She just told me, "funny." Boy, is he barking up a storm and all the while she is laughing like mad. It's great, I wish it wasn't this early but it's cute none-the-less.
Steff is up and being very difficult this morning. I've had to cover her up with her blanket a half a dozen times. I think it's about time she learned how to do that herself...what do you think? I know you agree with me. She's such a spoiled little child, all my kids are. Don't get me wrong we are fairly strict parents and we restrict what they are allowed to do and it will get worse as they get older and the temptations get greater but, they are spoiled. We do a lot of things for them. A lot of things they should be doing for themselves.
Kieran probably didn't get a very good night of sleep...he slept by the dog and each time I woke up he was whining to get out. So, the poor kid's gonna wanna sleep in his own bed tonight.
Right now Rex is in a playful mood. He's tearing up the newspaper in his pen and playing with his toys. I like it when he's like this but I like the little lap puppy much better. Okay, now he's barking...Not sure what at, but he is. Little stinker. Good thing Kieran gets up in fifteen minutes. Then I can check to see if he pottied on his paper and if he has he can come out and roam around and play in the living room but for now, I think I'd be rotten if I went and flipped on the light to see, with Kieran in there asleep and all.
Ryan said he had a long night at work and that he just felt stiff all night. I told him that I completely understood and that I sympathized with him. I do feel bad when he says he feels that way. I wish I could make him feel nice and good but I can't and it makes it hard. When you love someone this much it hurts you when they hurt. But, there is nothing I can do for him and I share my pain meds with him when he needs them but when they are gone, they are gone...And, let's face it folks, the Ultram doesn't last forever. I wish it did but it doesn't.
I'm feeling quite beat up this morning but I'm sure it's because it was a rough night. I already blogged about some of the events when I was up at 3:45am because Ryan thought it was social hour at that beautiful time. Butt head...I love seeing him when he comes home but some nights it's very hard to fall back to sleep. I have to take one Ambien before bed and then another in the middle of the night. They usually don't last much longer than a couple of hours so if I get a couple hours of sleep I feel good but last night when I took the second one I didn't get that couple of hours of sleep that they require to wear off so here I sit, feeling exhausted...but that's only the half of it. You see, if I don't get a good night of sleep my body feels it. I need that re coupe session for the sake of my back....Or else, it's a pain day.
I read something the other day about pain ravaged bodies and how to look forward to the Everafter...I really do look forward to the days and nights and eternity when my body doesn't feel the car accident and the babies I carried anymore. Those will be the good times....
I did get another injection into my other hip the other day and thus, I have no pain in my hips, it's just my back. After that car accident I was in I haven't been the same since. I get very tense muscles that muscle relaxers don't touch and that massage therapy appointments are too expensive to get. I know it should be the responsibility of the other driver's insurance but I'm not sure how to get appointments where they pay for it. The last time I went to a massage therapist and the Chiropractor was right before Sean died but since I have just been in to see Dr. E. and get back adjustments from him. My insurance covers most of the cost when I have him do it but they wouldn't if I went and saw a Chiropractor. Sounds like garbage to me but that's just the way it works.
Steff is laughing and playing with Rex now. I didn't get him out but he's barking and jumping at her and she is laughing and loving it. It's actually quite cute. She just told me, "funny." Boy, is he barking up a storm and all the while she is laughing like mad. It's great, I wish it wasn't this early but it's cute none-the-less.
Up at Three
Ryan came home and decided he'd missed me so he woke me up and thus, here I sit, wide awake and confused about the events of this night. You see, Kieran slept in the dining room next to the puppy, who, at this point is being quiet after a mid-night whine session. Steff is sleeping on the couch and not to soundly I might add. She has woke up several times tonight and each time she wants a different show on tv. Sadie just fell back to sleep after a bought of sleeplessness and Ryan should be off to lala land anytime. I am sitting her blogging. It's now ten to four and I can't sleep. I really don't have much to blog about since I do most of my blogging on the family blog but none-the-less, here I sit.
I have been walking with the Lord more since I went to church. I came to the harsh realization that I hadn't been giving Him my all. That I was exhisting for my own personal gain. I feel terrible but I also know that because of His love for me I'm forgiven and I don't intend to repeat the offense. Glory to God in the highest is what I want to say. He gives all things and takes all things. I am so happy that I have Him in my corner. If God is for me, who can be against me? A rhetorical question really, I mean, think about it. . .when you have the Most High on your side things can't be any better. There is no famine, worry, self-indulgence, you are purified in Him. There isn't much else I can say about the love I know God has for me but I do have to admit that I like it when he gives me gentle reminders about who He wants me to be rather than the harsh ones that teach the truth through trials. Don't get me wrong all the lessons He teaches me are well learned, maybe still repeated, as I am human and that just makes us stupid by default but all lessons are well learned. Sometimes the harsh one's are the ones that stick the most. I just try to remember he does everything in love. He wants us to grow and He'd be much more pleased if we'd take the hint as apposed to the book being thrown at us but it's His job to teach us what He needs from us, what jobs He has for us to do. I think I'm going to go off and study my Bible for a few. I feel at my best right now. No pain and no kids...that truly is what He deserves, my best.
I have been walking with the Lord more since I went to church. I came to the harsh realization that I hadn't been giving Him my all. That I was exhisting for my own personal gain. I feel terrible but I also know that because of His love for me I'm forgiven and I don't intend to repeat the offense. Glory to God in the highest is what I want to say. He gives all things and takes all things. I am so happy that I have Him in my corner. If God is for me, who can be against me? A rhetorical question really, I mean, think about it. . .when you have the Most High on your side things can't be any better. There is no famine, worry, self-indulgence, you are purified in Him. There isn't much else I can say about the love I know God has for me but I do have to admit that I like it when he gives me gentle reminders about who He wants me to be rather than the harsh ones that teach the truth through trials. Don't get me wrong all the lessons He teaches me are well learned, maybe still repeated, as I am human and that just makes us stupid by default but all lessons are well learned. Sometimes the harsh one's are the ones that stick the most. I just try to remember he does everything in love. He wants us to grow and He'd be much more pleased if we'd take the hint as apposed to the book being thrown at us but it's His job to teach us what He needs from us, what jobs He has for us to do. I think I'm going to go off and study my Bible for a few. I feel at my best right now. No pain and no kids...that truly is what He deserves, my best.
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